Friday, August 08, 2008

Reflections on Our 7th Anniversary

I remember a conversation I overheard when I was in high school. It was in the dentist's waiting room and the two receptionists, an older woman and a younger woman, were talking. The younger woman mentioned that it was her anniversary and she and her husband were going out to celebrate that night. The older woman asked, "How long have you been married?"

"Four years," answered the younger woman, in awe.

Four years, I thought. Whoa. That's like being with the same boyfriend through all of high school. That's such a long time to be with the same person, how has she managed it?

"Pah!" replied the older woman. "You're still newlyweds!"

This response shocked me. How could she say that? It was possibly the first time the concept of eternal marriage and forever families took on concrete meaning for me.

As I was packing for the move I came across a 2/3-full box of "Kari and Ed" note cards we ordered with our wedding announcements. I don't know how many of those we ordered but it was obviously too many since we did write thank you notes for all of our gifts, and used the note cards for other things for about a year. At this point we are more than "Kari and Ed", and it seems a bit past the stage of acceptable use for wedding stationary. I kept two and put the rest in the kids' art box for coloring and cutting.

Last weekend we got an actual babysitter and went out for our anniversary. Fancy dinner complete with a special dessert compliments of the chef and a tour of the kitchen by the manager. Two hours of uninterrupted conversation about our past, our present, our future. I found out way more about what Ed does at work than I knew before because I could actually focus. We also laughed over our first impressions of each other and how hard our first year of marriage was.

Each year has gotten progressively, if slightly, less hard. More communication, fewer misunderstandings, more selflessness, less stubborness, more compromise, less frustration. It takes time and patience to make a marriage work, it turns out. Imagine that. Two moving targets trying to coordinate lives is an unscientific process. We still wonder if we were meant for each other. But we're good for each other, and committed to becoming even better. After only seven years we're smarter, we're stronger, we're closer. I'd say that's pretty good. Love you, Eddie. Here's to another seven!

7 comments:

Shells said...

Congratulations on making it to the Seven Year Itch. I love the pictures of you guys and how your lives have grown during your time together. Hopefully you will get many more date opportunities like this one, where you can actually communicate!

Maren said...

Yay! Happy Anniversary. I love the music, btw. Huey Louis and Gwyneth Paltrow? Cool. I think you guys are great and it's sweet to see how you have both made sacrifices for each other's good.

cherry said...

Woot!Woot! what else can i say..you guys are awesome...Happy Anniversary.

MiaKatia said...

Happy Anniversary! Wow, I can't believe it has been seven years already. Time flies. You guys are great together. I love that you are committed to being good for each other and even being better for each other. You gave me some great advice along those lined when I was in my first (and tough) year of marriage. It still works for me!

The Waites said...

Congratulations! I think anything past one is an accomplishment. Bryan and I will be celebrating our 12 year anniversary in September. You said it all. Marriage is work and it is hard, but I'm so glad I get to work with Bryan. It's so great to read your blog.

Jenifer said...

Congratulations!!!!! It's weird to think it's been 7 years!!! Way to go! I'm happy to say I was there when you guys started!!

Rachel said...

I've been thinking about your words since you posted them weeks ago. It was a beautifully honest and sincere reflection and one which makes me feel hopeful that someday on our 7th I can feel the same. That last paragraph is just gold, I tell ya. Thank you for sharing that bit of yourself. Miss you!

P.S. Davey read it too and said the same kinds of things :)

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