7 Things You Never Knew (or tried to forget) About Me

My sister-in-law Camille has "tagged" me, supposedly requiring me to disclose seven interesting things about myself. I'm taking it a step further, trying to make it things most people don't know. As I was thinking of them, I kept coming back to embarrassing moments, since because of their nature I haven't flaunted them as much as, say, the fancy letters after my name in "Kari Hickman, M.A., CCC-SLP." But I also tried to come up with some that aren't extremely painful to admit. Here they are (drumroll):

1. My lifelong sugar addiction began early with a childhood candy corn habit.
2. My first boyfriend asked me out by getting on one knee and saying, "Will you be my lawfully wedded groove chick?" (Unfortunately there were no photos of the joyous occasion.)
3. I would like to learn to play the banjo.
4. In 1995 at a BYU dance I dislocated my knee doing, yes, the Electric Slide. I got an ambulance ride to the ER, a leg brace, and weeks of physical therapy, all of which came with numerous chances to tell the tale. Beyond embarrassing.
5. Around age 15-16 I went a year and a half without shaving my legs. At EFY people asked if I was European. At Robinson people knew I was just Kari Younce.
6. In 2000, I ran over my neighbor's cat, who had been taking a nap under my parked car. I was so traumatized that I had some guys I know come clean her up, and when my neighbor got home I told him she had been hit by a car. I never told him it was me. I still feel terrible about it.
7. My hugely intense childhood celebrity crush was on...Huey Lewis.

It was only after writing these 7 things that I read on Camille's blog her 7 things, all of which are about her now (not in the past), and all of which received at least a paragraph in explanation. Since Ginger has been sick and not sleeping well for several nights, I lack the mental energy for such thorough self-analysis, so I shall let my 7 stand.

Chocolatopia

This weekend was the 10th annual New York Chocolate Show, and I was a part of it...at least for an hour. I heard about it the past two years we've been here, and never got over to it. Then someone told me yesterday it's going on until Sunday, so I called Ed to see if he could watch the girls Saturday morning. Things are relatively light at work this week, and the beauty is that Ed loves the chance to spend time home alone with the kids, so everybody wins (but especially me!)

I left home about 9:30am and an hour subway ride, 15 minute walk, and 30 minute wait in line later, I slapped down my $28 cash and entered Chocodise. There were 91 booths, and all but a few info booths and water stations were filled with chocolatiers from around the world. And they ALL HAD SAMPLES.

Why else would you go? Yes, I and approximately 100,000 other people were there for the samples! Trays, bowls, platters, bags and plates lined the front tables of booths offering cocoa delights of all colors and flavors. After about 5 or 6 intensely rich pieces, however, my palate and stomach agreed I wouldn't make it all the way down Bittersweet Boulevard at this pace, not to mention Cocoa Bean Street, Chocolate Chip Drive, Sweets Avenue or Quetzacoatl Street. In need of something to collect my samples in for later, I stopped at the NewTree booth, because it had oh so many interesting-looking samples and it was also close by. I tasted a few - delicious! - and bought a $7 samplers box of small bars, answering YES! when asked if I wanted a bag. From then on I ate about 1 in 5 of the pieces I passed, keeping the others safe in my bag.

There were brownies, fudge, truffles, bark, sauces, ganaches, flourless cakes, hot chocolate, fondues and chocolate fountains. I think the most interesting one I tried was a Smokey Blue Truffle from Lillie Belle Farms - "the perfect combination of the Rogue Creamery's award winning Smokey Blue Cheese, organic milk chocolate and toasted almonds." It was surprisingly good, especially considering I don't like blue cheese. I also enjoyed chocolate dipped potato sticks but skipped the chocolate sardines!

There was a children's corner in the back, with activities scheduled throughout the day, including chocolate thumbprint art, but one look at the poor saps trying to force strollers through the oppressively thick crowds confirmed I'd made the right choice by coming alone.

After about an hour I'd stopped at most of the booths and was feeling lightheaded from the crowds and aromas. My final purchase was a bottle of dark chocolate dessert syrup from Guittard. Then I hit the restrooms (I'd been drinking a lot of water between tastes), and called it a day. A very good day.

I'll probably never get the chance to attend the Chocolate Show again, but as with most things I've done in New York, at least I can say I did it once. As for those of you whose future may still see you there, I offer one piece of advice: bring a ziploc!

First Joke

Well tonight Hazel told me her first joke.

Ginger's in a very fussy, whiney stage right now so by the end of the day my nerves are raw and I snap at any little thing either one does. I gave them a late dinner and Ginger's shrieking was so unbearable that I left Hazel at the table to put Ginger to bed. Partway through the kicking, fighting, crying process I heard Hazel calling from the kitchen, "Mommy, I need more water!" over and over. Deep breaths.

Once Ginger was down I went back to the kitchen where Hazel was waiting, admittedly very patiently for a 2.5 year old. I refilled her drink and sat down to hopefully squeeze in a few quiet, quality moments with her. As she ate, my mind wandered, so I was totally surprised to hear her say quite clearly:

"Knock, knock."

Knock, knock? Where did she learn a knock knock joke?

"Who's there?"

"Owl."

Being so late in the day it took my mind a few seconds delay to put it together. But then I realized the joke - it's from a Little Bear episode we've seen 500 times.

"Owl who?"

"Hoooooo else?"

I'd been strung so tight I thought I'd snap. I mean I was teetering on the brink of insanity after the day and week I've had. And with one horrible knock-knock joke and a proud little smile, my toddler managed to melt my stress away in about 5 seconds, and it came pouring out my eyes. I laughed and cried so hard I couldn't talk, and I hugged her as tight as I could. She proceeded to retell the joke no less than 10 times, and one last time right before bed.

They say in comedy, timing is everything.

And I would have to agree.

Halloween in Brooklyn

I wasn't even sure I wanted to take the girls trick-or-treating. I mean, they're still very young and wouldn't know the difference. Ed wouldn't be home to make it a real family activity. Our beloved trick-or-treating friend Violet moved to Connecticut a mere 1.5 weeks ago (sniff, sniff.)

Hazel (ladybug) and Violet (bee) trick-or-treating last year:


I thought we could just let Halloween pass by this year and it wouldn't matter. But in the end I couldn't resist. We had to go out to get milk anyway. I had gotten Hazel a costume anyway. We all like candy anyway.

Ginger had a costume, too - the same one Hazel wore two years ago. It was super cute and she wore it to the church Halloween party last weekend, but for trick-or-treating I just bundled her up in regular clothes for her ride in the stroller.

Ginger in 2007 (left) and Hazel in 2005 (right):


Hazel was Little Red Riding Hood this year. We walked out of our building about 5pm tonight and before we'd even gotten to the corner, before we'd knocked on one door, a sweet old lady walking by stopped us and, nearly in tears at how cute Hazel was, made us wait while she rummaged in her bags for her wallet and put $1 in Hazel's basket.We made our way up four blocks to 3rd Avenue where the shops are, stopping at houses with decorations or lights on and collecting quite a load of sugar along the way. Hazel climbed into the stroller while we ducked into the grocery store, and when we came out I saw that groups of kids & parents were stopping in at the shops, trick-or-treating. So we joined in, getting a treat at each little place that we walk by every day. I thought it was a rather unique and enjoyable way to trick-or-treat with the community.

At the nail salon:And at the Italian bakery. They handed out paper-wrapped cookies. After that Hazel just wanted to get in the stroller and eat her cookie, so that was the sweet end of trick-or-treating this year.
After dinner I let Hazel choose one candy out of her basket, and being a smart girl and my daughter, she chose a Hershey bar with almonds. Ah, Halloween. How did you spend it?

Applique Onesies

Always desperately seeking a creative outlet, here are samples of my most recent projects: appliqued onesies. I have some tough constrictions on creative projects I'm allowed to get involved in - mostly, it has to be started, finished, and cleaned up within a few hours or at least a day. Someday I'll have a "craft room" where projects can be spread out and left out over time. But for now I have limited space and two mobile kiddos!
So I raided my mom's 20-years-worth supply of quilting fabric scraps, bought a nice pair of pinking shears and some plain onesies and voila! The white ones are Ginger's, and my first experiments.
The other ones were baby gifts for a friend. Who knows, if you are expecting soon you might end up with one or two as well.
(For larger view, click on images.)

Now my next project is Ginger's Christmas stocking - I've put it off for 9 months and now it's time to get cracking - wish me luck!

Fall Art

Fall has FINALLY arrived here in New York, after two months too long of heat and humidity. So to celebrate we invited Hazel's friend Kaleigh over for a playdate and fall art projects.
First we went out to collect fall leaves. There were a few squabbles over the basket, but mostly we all got along.Then we came home and made leaf rubbings (with crayons) and leaf crowns (with staplers). Afterwards we had apples and graham crackers for snack and let the girls do their favorite activity - cutting!What a perfect autumn morning it was!

Money Money Money

UPDATE 10/25/07 - After 3 weeks I have made $302 and after 1 week my referrals have made $245 altogether!

So some of you have been kind enough to inquire in one way or another why I haven't been blogging so much lately. Well it's not that I've been sitting in front of the computer any less, I've just been doing something else - making some money from home. Granted, it's not much, but money is money and comes in handy for all sorts of crazy things.

Here's what I've been doing:
Two weeks ago my friend Jen (Price) Carver emailed me information on GPT websites. GPT stands for "Get Paid To". Her brother is in dental school and doesn't have time for a "real" job, but has made some good money working with them, and referred her. Then she referred me.

You know those internet "surveys", that often come in pop-up windows, that make you think you're really taking an opinion survey and it turns out to be a bunch of trial offers and sign-ups that you don't want? Well through GPT sites you can get paid for taking those surveys, without risk or cost, and if you know a few tips and tricks you can avoid all the spam and telemarketers, too.

I had some success my first week so referred a few friends, and they have also had some success. In two weeks I've made $200, and at least $40 of that has been bonuses, contest prizes or referral commissions. Yea, $200 isn't much but I'd guess that was for about 8-10 hours, and it's also $200 I didn't have before, and will be really helpful in the upcoming holiday season (especially after buying 3 plane tickets to CO!)

The sites are legal and legit, and if you make $600 you have to fill out a W9. This is especially good for students, stay-home moms or other people who need money but don't have time or availability for traditional employment. If you're interested, see below. If not, pass it on to anyone you think might be.

If you are interested: Comment or email me - I will email you a tutorial I wrote that helps you get set up and navigate your way through the GPT world. Reading the tutorial will save you a ton of time, it's worth it. It's about 6 pages so too long to post the whole thing here. Once you've read the tutorial you can go to the GPT sites and start making money. I would appreciate it if you use my referral links below (they are in the order I suggest using - Race4Offers being the easiest to navigate.) Feel free to ask any questions here in the comments.
Note: You must be prepared to register with the site immediately upon using the link, so the referral will be credited. You should start with one for awhile, then try the others as you become more familiar with the process.

Swat Cash
Race4Offers
Squishy Cash
My Doggie Dollars
Monster Pays Cash


So yes, I have been a little obsessive with this while reading the forums, exploring the sites, trying different surveys. I haven't forgotten the blog world, though, and have many posts floating around in my head. So as always, stay tuned.

Uncle Eric Comes for a Visit

"Uncle Eric?" say the Younces. "There's not an Eric in our family."
"There's not?" say the Hickmans. "Well we don't have an Eric either. Who is this Uncle Eric?"

I'm talking about Eric Wilson, our good friend from Colorado. In fact, he is one of the very few Ed refers to as a "buddy" (as in, "My good buddy Eric took me to this awesome fishing spot...") Much outdoorsy male bonding takes place between Ed and Eric. And Wilson was the very first person I met at the Boulder Institute, and he took me on a date on the spot, so we have a bond as well. The fact that he has known both of us as long as we have known each other, and that he has made an effort to stay in touch, has earned him the honorary title: Uncle Eric. And since at least half of my readership of 4-6 people probably knows him, it was worth a post.
Yes, Wilson was in town last weekend. He is dating a wonderful woman Julia who is a theater arts teacher and lived in NYC for 7 years, so she decided the Mountain Man needed some culture, and she brought him to NY for a weekend to take in some shows. He might be the only 32-yr-old I know who had never seen a professional stage play until this weekend. (Julia's got her work cut out!)
Anyway, we met them Saturday afternoon and spent a few hours together in Central Park, enjoying perfect fall weather and scattered live music as well. Last time Eric saw Hazel she was 3 months old so he did some bonding with the kids, too. Ed's going to see him next week hunting in the mountains, but it was still fun to see him here in New York. I gave him a hard enough time on Saturday about never coming to visit us, so I will abstain here.
But see how happy we all are? Makes you want to come visit, right? You've only got 9 months left to get on the stick. Ed's been sending out resumes and starting to interview, so come on people! Anyway, great to see you Eric!

New England Trip Phase 1: Vermont

Thanks to many of you who have inquired about our vacation. I knew it would take me awhile to get organized enough to write about it, and I will try to keep it descriptive but brief, plus include pictures!

Phase 1: Vermont

We only had one day between returning home from Utah and leaving for Vermont, and that day was supposed to be spent unpacking, doing laundry, repacking and picking up the minivan we were renting. Instead Ed spent it in the office, and I did laundry with the girls, unsure whether to pack, unsure whether we were going anywhere the next day. Long story short, we got the green light from The Man Wednesday morning, so rushed our preparations and pulled out of town about 2pm.

The whole point of the trip was to get a look at, and taste of, New England, especially for Ed who has not seen it at all. The drive to my sister Maren's house in Middlebury, VT was uneventful except for the usual road-trip-with-kids stuff, and we made good time - about 6 hours.

Maren and I with Torin and Ginger

We spent two days and three nights there and highlights included:

• meeting our almost-1-yr-old nephew Torin
• having them meet Ginger
• watching the other girls play
• apple picking
• walking around downtown Middlebury and lunch at a funky deli "Noonie's"
• swimming in Lake Danbury
• playing in the back yard sprinkler
• admiring (and using) their awesome new bathroom addition
• catching up and hanging out

Playing in the back yard

Apple picking

Ed and Ginger swimming at Lake Danbury

I am always so relaxed when I visit their house. I think it's a combination of Maren's inherent ability to make a house a home and the quiet calm of their neighborhood and town. Whatever it is, it was a wonderful start to our trip.The cousins : Ginger, Laurel, Hazel, Sonja and Torin

A farewell round of ring-around-the-rosie

We left the Mecham's on Saturday with hugs and kisses and a full day of delicious fun ahead of us. We first headed through Green Mountain National Forest and enjoyed the scenery at some overlooks, but unfortunately it was quite cloudy and foggy so we missed out on long-range views. Especially memorable was the overlook where, when it was time to get back in the car, Hazel threw a kicking fit as Ed forced her into the carseat. When he stood back up we realized Hazel had stepped in dog poop and it was all over her shoes, her pants, the carseat, Ed's shirt and Ed's pants. And we had just done laundry at Maren's.
By midday we arrived at Ben & Jerry's, where we took the factory tour and lucked out in the sample room - the sample that day was Half-Baked, which is YUMMY. Unfortunately Hazel thought so too and we forgot to bring the food smock along. (Souvenirs: NY Super Fudge Chunk dessert bread mix, B&J fridge magnet, cow socks for Hazel, ice cream cone bib for Ginger.)After a picnic lunch on the B&J grounds, and a visit to the graveyard of past flavors, we drove another hour or so to visit the Cabot cheese factory, where we also took a tour and helped ourselves to samples of everything. (Souvenirs: several sweet and savory infused maple syrups.) Along all the drives we passed plenty of dairy farms, so we really got a well-rounded taste of the Vermont dairy industry.
After Cabot we headed into New Hampshire - see Phase 2, coming someday.

Happy Birthday to Dave!

Today is Dave’s 30^th Birthday and many of us are paying him tribute on our blogs. Dave is the coolest, the cleverest, the most eclectic, skilled, creative, and fun person in the world, so to honor him and his many hats, here is a Dave Younce Trivia crossword puzzle. Some will be easy of course, and some may only be known to me and Dave, but give it a try and see how much you know (or can learn) about the best brother in the world.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAVE!
Now with answers! I'm sorry some people thought there were too many private jokes, but I wanted it to be challenging for even those who know him well, so we couldn't expect every dave, david and davey to get them! Across

5. Our sister Tona’s kids have a favorite story about Uncle Dave. When he was just a crawler, my parents were working with a harvest from the garden at the kitchen table. Dave crawled under the table, reached into a paper bag, pulled something out, and took a big bite. What was it? HOT PEPPER - and I am told much shrieking ensued.
7. What technological advancement does Dave insist will vastly improve my (and maybe your) quality of life? TIVO - I didn't even check if I spelled it right! We are working our way up to it, starting out with DVR from the cable company.
9. Where did Dave serve his mission? LOS ANGELES, Spanish-speaking
10. When Dave had just learned to speak, my parents taught him a joke. They would ask, “How far can a dog run into the woods?” What is the answer he was trained to give? HALFWAY - You see, after he has gone halfway, he is then running out of the woods. Very typical Younce humor.
14. What did I give Dave for his birthday this year? SPICY COOKIES - Sparx Spicy Cookies, but the crossword generator didn't like that.
15. Where was Dave's first job? DOMINOS - At University Mall.
16. What movie did Dave & Michelle get their daughter's name from? HIS GIRL FRIDAY - a Carey Grant film (girl's name is Hilde).
17. Twice a year (or so) Dave organizes a gaming weekend retreat, and people from all over the country attend. What's it called? CAMP NERDLY
18. What is Dave's middle name? GEARY, after our Dad, after his grandmother's maiden name.
22. When we were teenagers, and I would drive us from seminary to school in the morning, I would sometimes slip my hands around the steering wheel as if turning but only as a fake-out, and we would continue to go straight. What warning did I give Dave about this maneuver? NEVER DO THIS, followed by "Very dangerous!" but that was too long for the crossword. We must have done that interchange every day for two years.

Down
1. What is Dave's favorite chocolate cake? DARN GOOD (Chocolate Cake), from The Cake Mix Doctor, mmmm.... We had that at our house in honor of the birthday and also the cake's deliciousness. I will post the recipe if anyone wants.
2. What is Dave's preferred casual shirt? GUAYABERA - I think I actually did spell this wrong in the crossword, so sorry, I think I left out the first A. Anyway our Grandpa Cummings made these shirts famous in our family - he was always in one unless he was in a shirt and tie. Now the grandsons are carrying on the comfortable legacy.
3. What college did Dave graduate from? GEORGE MASON
4. What fruit did Dave only learn to like as an adult, while on his mission? WATERMELON - I believe the story goes that he was so hot from biking and working in the LA summer that they were in someone's home and were offered pureed watermelon, and it sounded and tasted so refreshing that he liked it.
6. If you are ever honored enough to be a guest in Dave's home, he is sure to favor you with one of his original non-alcoholic mixed drinks. What is the key ingredient in these? SELTZER, duh.
8. Our Mom has a special name for Dave's current occupation: Professional HACKER.
11. What did Dave recently tell me is "the perfect meal"? APPLE TART, Mom's apple tart to be specific. We just went apple picking and I told Dave I was making it, and we discussed how great it is for snack, breakfast, dessert, or anytime - "the perfect meal", he concluded.
12. In elementary school, what country was Dave very interested in? EGYPT
13. What is Dave's favorite SUV (make and model)? NISSAN MURANO
18. When Dave was about 2, what animal did he claim he wanted to be when he grew up? GORILLA
19. Dave is a very accomplished connoisseur of specialty sodas. What is his favorite brand of ginger beer? BLENHEIM
20. What did Dave's daughter Hilde tell me is her favorite thing to do with her dad? HIDE AND SEEK, isn't that cute?
21. What is Dave's favorite non-chocolate cake? SNICKERDOODLE, also from The Cake Mix Doctor. It's a moist cinnamon white cake with cinnamon frosting, really delicious.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of the trivia puzzle! How'd you do? Aw, all tuckered out? Go ahead, take a nap. Dave says it's OK.

Investment Banking: from the Trenches

After two grueling years, and especially since returning from vacation, we're really hating the demands of Ed's job on a whole new level. Occasionally quit notices and other pieces of "humor" get forwarded and emailed around "the street" (=Wall Street). Here are some of the latest:


Here is one creative way an analyst quit, in the case study format he was no doubt sick of:
And here is the text of an email Ed forwarded to me, a first-year analyst who saw the light only a few months after starting (I deleted names just in case):

----- Original Message -----
From:
To:
Cc:
Sent: Sun Sep 16 07:02:32 2007
Subject: Sorry everyone

I'm leaving the bank now.

I'm not made to do this. If I put my mind to something as much as I do here to mindless text editing, copy and pasting, and getting yelled at for stuff other people can't/won't/don't do, I would be much better off. It's 6:43 a.m. on a Sunday, and I have at least 14 more hours of work to do today that will not be fulfilling, useful, appreciated, recognized, or paid for.

Sorry this is last minute, but it's just not worth doing more

My blackberry is on my desk

Apparently that failed staffing request was fatal (no, not as in I'm
going to kill myself, hehe, I'm just going to go enjoy life). There is
no happiness here.

I took all my personal stuff. No one needs to contact me for anything
(except for a drink for those of you with my personal number). I will
only be at my New York address a few days longer.

Good luck y'all,

(Signature)

P.S. I'll be waiting for some smart-ass associate to send a
"best-practice e-mail for how to quit properly".

Well isn't that encouraging? Just in case you needed more dissuading from going into IB.

Home Is...

Something strange is happening.

We returned last Sunday from an 11-day driving tour of New England, and as we pulled off the parkway into our neighborhood, I had a feeling that was both distinct and shocking: It's good to be home. I caught myself before saying it out loud to Ed. Home? Yes, this is where we live, but home? But the autumn sun was shining on the water, and the tree leaves were rustling in the breeze. Neighbors were out for afternoon walks, and the entire surroundings were so familiar that they offered a comforting welcome, a welcome home. I came out of this surprising thought and told it to Ed. I never thought I'd say it about New York, but I guess if you live anywhere long enough it can become home.

I thought about this some more this afternoon as I drove around a curve on the Belt Parkway and the majestic Verrazano Bridge loomed above me. I love seeing that bridge, I feel an ownership in it. In fact, this week as I've returned to regular daily life, I feel ownership of the whole neighborhood, of my place in it, earned through endurance.

I thought of the places I've lived - Fairfax, Provo, Boston, Toronto, Boulder and now New York. And sure enough, if I lived there long enough, it had become home, and often hard to leave. We've been in New York over two years, with one more to go. And while my feelings toward the city in general have been no secret on this blog or in any conversation, I'm softening to the idea that it's a matter of perspective, of point of reference. Yes, life here is an infuriating hassle, but only if you compare it to other places. I've spent much of my time here comparing it to places I came from or places I want to go next. That makes it a terrible place to live. But when I just let it be New York, it's so special and unique that I feel special just being part of it (not special enough to stay longer, but still.)

These thoughts reminded me of a poem I'd heard, a section of Essay on Man by Alexander Pope:

Vice is a monster of so frightful mien,

As to be hated needs but to be seen;

Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,

We first endure, then pity, then embrace.

Embrace - that word connotes tenderness, affection, possibly romance and maybe even dependence. Amazingly, we may still see the day when I join the masses and proclaim:

Water Survey

Hi there. We were on vacation for 2 weeks but back now. Don't worry, I have many posts regarding the trip and other things I thought about while on the trip in the works, but in the meantime here's a quick survey for you. This is from my friend who's a Civil Engineering professor in the middle east, with a special interest in water (supply, treatment, etc.)

Here's what he says:

Now that I live in a place where water is so scarce, I’m doing some preliminary research on people’s perception of water quality, and how that impacts the amount of water they use. One specific area of interest is in whether (and why) people prefer bottled water vs. tap water. If you have a few moments, I’d appreciate it if you could complete the survey. Here it is.

It takes about 7 minutes and there are no trick questions. He's trying to get a wide range of respondents so pass it along.

A Reunion of Firsts

Last weekend we traveled to Cedar City, Utah, for a Smith family reunion. That's Ed's mom's family - her brothers and sisters and their kids and grandkids. The picture below is just the Hickman clan, and while we were the most represented, there were plenty of other relatives there as well - it was a hefty crowd.In just two days of traveling and two days of reuniting I collected enough observations to fill many pages, but since we are leaving again tomorrow for another trip, if I don't post a little about the reunion now, I'm afraid I'll never catch up.One thing I noticed was how many "firsts" took place this weekend. It was Ginger's first plane ride, and ours with two kids. Also Hazel's first with her own seat. It was both kids' first time in Utah, and my first in Cedar City. It was the first time anyone besides Grandma Marsha met Ginger in person, and also our first meeting with several new nieces, not to mention second cousins. Ginger with 6-wk-younger cousin Talia

We flew from NYC to Salt Lake to St. George, UT, and then rented a car to drive to Cedar. But first we grabbed some lunch in St. George and went to visit the temple there. Hazel loves the pictures of temples, but has never been to one, plus the St. George Temple is where Ed's parents were married, so we wanted to see it. As you probably know, it was stunning and majestic, and Hazel proclaimed it "a castle!" She kept repeating that Grandma Marsha and Grandpa Mike were married there, and she wants to get married. She wanted to go in, but settled for checking out the fountain outside, and getting a small picture of Jesus from one of the sister missionaries in the visitor center. Hazel at the St. George Temple

Marsha's sister Georgia lives in Cedar so her house was home base for most meals - thanks, Georgia!!! - though we all stayed in a nearby hotel. Because there are so many little kids in the family, the agenda was relaxed and mostly revolved around mingling in Georgia's backyard over meals, and swimming in the hotel pool (Ginger's first.) On Saturday we took all the kids to a fun Discovery Park, and on Saturday night we got the Hickman boys to watch the kids while the girls went out for serious sundaes.

Sunday was probably my favorite. We drove about 50 miles to Milford, UT, where Marsha and her siblings grew up on a farm. We attended church and then had a picnic lunch at a park next to the cemetery where Ed's grandparents and many other Smith relatives are buried. It was Hazel's first time going barefoot outside. My camera batteries died or else I would have gotten a picture of the farmhouse, which we stopped by on the way back. Marsha rode in our car for that drive, so I grilled her about growing up on a farm, a concept so foreign to me as to be almost comical. I learned all about crops, cattle, railroads, and other industries of southern Utah.
It felt so surreal to come back to Brooklyn, having been gone only four days, and having been to a place so distant and different. But it was good for all of us to take a step away from busy city life and learn about our heritage. I guess it's not mine exactly, but it is Hazel's, Ginger's and Ed's, and my suspicions were confirmed that it's one to be proud of.

The Great Parenthood Fallacy Revealed

Perhaps I was a bit hasty in claiming to have realized the greatest fallacy of parenthood. All submissions ring painfully true, and could be - and may be - discussed in further depth. I think that all of us, no matter how much we babysat, helped raise younger siblings, carefully observed peers as parents, or otherwise considered ourselves prepared for the realities of parenthood, have experienced the shock of having our assumptions shattered, one by one. Assumptions that we were so sure were true that we didn't even know they were assumptions; they went without saying. But now we are saying them, and we call them fallacies.So without further ado, which is the greatest of them all?

That the parents are in charge.

Responsible, yes. In control of many things, I'll give you. But in charge? Sadly, we are not.

This came up in conversation with my sister Maren when I was venting about the sudden chaos that has taken over what was formerly regular naptimes for both girls. Suddenly Hazel's not napping one day, crashing on the floor mid-morning the next, totally throwing off the nap zen she'd achieved over a year ago. And don't get me started on Ginger's "schedule." I was explaining each example, complaining about the illogical injustice of it - "What's going on here?" And this clever mom of three gave the only explanation that can be given: "You're not in charge." (Choirs, spotlight.) "As much as you want to be, you're not in charge."

By "in charge" I guess I mean controlling all parties - in this case, making the kids do exactly what I want when I want. I can suggest, bribe, persuade, threaten, tempt, request, beg and manipulate but in the end there are few things I can force them to do. I suppose this goes for all ages. I've got a little more control but less leverage with these little ones, and I assume (there I go again!) that those scales will tip the other way as they get older.

Of course my Mom has been telling me this for years, at least since my first "HELP!" phone call after Hazel was born. Each time it would half sink in, but then I would counter that when I was little I sure thought my parents were in charge.

"Right," she would answer.

Ah. So it was all an elaborate hoax, and I fell for it. I would feel like a schmuck except for two things:
1. Feeling like my parents were in charge provided me with a feeling of safety and security while growing up, and allowed me, as I got older, to develop independence over time, and
2. Now that I'm a parent, this bodes in my favor. Even when things are totally out of my control, if I can keep the kids believing I'm in charge, we may have a measure of familial harmony.

Kids are who they are, and meant to be free agents. Not to say we as parents can let it all go to pot; we certainly have to give it the ol' college try and teach them how to be responsibly independent, among other things. But with the very little ones who are constantly, and so quickly, developing and maturing, I at least need to stop wasting time wondering, "Why?" and start asking, "How can we make the most of this?" or at least, "How can we get through this?"

Gone Fishin'

In July Eddie went on a great male bonding fishing expedition in Saskatchewan, Canada, with his dad, three brothers, and some other guys. Since both Jenny and Shanda, the other Hickmans-by-marriage, gave it a blurb on their blogs, figured I could do the same.
Here's how it worked: everybody drove, flew or a combination to meet up in Regina, Sask., then all drove up together to La Ronge (halfway up, in the middle, by the lakes) and flew out of a little town called Missinipe in a puddle jumper, courtesy of Reindeer River Camp. They landed on a lake and pseudo-camped for a week, fishing all day every day. For those who care (anyone?) the fish there are Walleye and Northern Pike, and it's reel fishing from a boat (not fly fishing.)Heck of a vacation. They did catch a ton of fish, but with the long hours and all the cleaning/gutting and other camp work, not to mention sunburn despite precautions, it was exhausting in a satisfying way. Ed was out of blackberry range, which was a great blessing for him, and his mind was completely off work the whole time, so we couldn't ask for much more. Well, except to be together, but you can't have everything.