Most days I feel like a "bad mom." You know. It's a hard, confusing, often frustrating job and it's easy to feel inadequate and definitely guilty. Comparing myself to other "good moms" is also a favorite pastime. So easy to see others' strengths against my own flaws.
But today we had a good day. We went to a new play place in the morning so it was kind of an adventure but not too stressful because we made our own schedule (and I didn't get lost driving through D.C. for once.) After lunch Poppy napped and I did some little art projects with the girls. Then Hazel watched a show and I actually had some one-on-one time with Ginger (gasp!) We did some puzzles and practiced writing some letters until she was done with me, not the other way around. We made waffles for dinner - simple prep, simple clean-up. After such a long nap, Poppy was in a good mood at bedtime so we were able to read some extra stories.
Once the older girls were in bed, Poppy kept me company doing the dishes and watering the plants. When she got fussy I changed her, swaddled her, and rocked her to sleep, listening to the sounds of a quiet house. No one is sick. No one had a major meltdown, potty accident or power struggle today. It was truly a good day.
I'm far from perfect. My house is pretty messy - still recovering from our trip. I have lots of things I need and want to get done. There are so many things I wish I was doing better. But as I rocked Poppy I thought, my kids are happy. I am happy. I was in the moment. I felt truly content.
I know it could change tomorrow. I'm enjoying this feeling so much because I have it so seldom. I just wanted to write it down.