Thursday, April 22, 2010

Final Countdown: TWO, ONE

For some reason I was completely exhausted yesterday.  I slept OK the night before and luckily the girls were on their best behavior after Tuesday night, but I was still drained.  Woke up early and made buttermilk waffles for breakfast - totally hit the spot.  Then I took Hazel to school and Ginger to Peewees, and found myself with 2 hours to spend.  I went to the mall.  It was rainy and I just felt like walking and window shopping.  Got Ed some socks at Macy's, got the girls a few things at a good sale at H&M (hello, $17.95 pants for $5, awesome.)  And the best part - stopped at one of those kiosks and had my eyebrows threaded.  So even though I look and feel like a whale, now I look and feel like a MOVIE STAR whale.  It's a subtle but important difference.

On the way to the mall I passed The State Theatre in Falls Church and saw on the marquis that Cowboy Junkies are doing a show tomorrow night.  Of all the horrible timing!  They are one of my favorite bands - my first real "grown-up" band I started liking as a teenager.  And the theater is so close!  That is something I would actually pay a babysitter to go to, and it's on the one night I definitely can't go.  Major bummer. 

Yesterday afternoon after putting Ginger down for her nap I thought I was going to collapse so I laid down on my bed and immediately fell asleep for two hours.  Fabulous, but I woke up just as tired as I'd been before.  Got the girls a snack, started dinner, did some dishes.  Ate dinner, cleaned up dinner, did more dishes.  Gave the girls a bath, put them to bed.  Ed got home late so we talked while he ate, then I dinked around a bit, arranging some baby things, reading a little, then fell into a light and restless sleep all night.  Did I mention I'm tired?

This morning some friends took the girls to a park for a Peewee Earth Day field trip while I went to the hospital for my pre-op screening, which consisted of a little paperwork and a blood draw.  Then I picked up a sandwich at Subway and met them at the park. 

I remember in the weeks before Ginger was born, I felt a little resentment towards her.  I was so bonded and focused on Hazel I felt like a new baby was going to mess up what we had, get in the way of our little life.  It's easy to resent someone you've never met.  Obviously, I got over that fast and now of course Hazel and I both prefer having Ginger to not.  This time I don't feel resentment towards the baby, but I am feeling a little sentimental about my time with the girls, trying to make the most of it, and focusing on them before my attention gets further refracted.  So while I could have taken advantage of that hour or so I had free after my appointment, by running an errand or having alone time, I missed the girls and wanted to be with them at the park.

We enjoyed a typical Ginger meltdown/nap resistance when we got home, then moved on to do some work.  Packed the girls' "Grandma bags."  Pulled some stuff together for my own bag.  Tried to stay calm, not think too hard, not work too hard.  It's a lot of pressure to have such an awaited event loom large.  Completely surreal, so I'm trying to act as normal as possible.  Later I'll finish packing my bag, maybe lightly review some of my newborn-care books. 

Tonight we plan to have a special Family Home Evening.  We'll retell each of the girls' birth stories (only the good parts.)  We'll read some stories (we like We Have a Baby and What Baby Needs.)  We'll tell the girls the baby's name and talk about what the next few days will be like.  Finally, we'll have Ed give me a blessing.  Crossing fingers it will be a nice evening and not the exercise in frustration FHE sometimes is.

Honestly, I am desperately trying to squelch my nervousness by keeping perspective.  I'm only going a few miles away and only for a few days.  Ed will be with me.  I'll have lots of help in the hospital.  It is somewhat bitter consolation, though consolation nonetheless, that it is guaranteed to be a better experience than I had in Brooklyn with Ginger.  Things will be fine.  I can't believe it's tomorrow.

16 comments:

The Finck Five said...

Good luck tomorrow!

-Sydney- said...

I had to be induced both times so I don't know what I'd do if it was a surprise! The night before is always the worst . . . just try to relax and not think about it. SOOOO hard to get restful sleep knowing what's coming in the morning.

In the weeks prior I did everything I could to try to make those babies come on their own (with little success) but I did end up getting a lot of work done :)

You've had a busy week so hopefully you'll be able to enjoy your down time post-partum knowing it wasn't a panicked rush to the hospital when you weren't ready

Kelsey Carreon said...

Best Wishes for a great day tomorrow! I can't wait to see pics and find out the name you chose!

kat said...

i'm thinking about you man. a whole weekend of ed at your complete disposal! :) good luck sleeping tonight. if that doesn't work, there's always bad tv on E!

Marie W said...

It's come! Congratulations, Kari. We'll be thinking of you all day tomorrow. Emma prays regularly for "Spanky Bum Bum." In fact, she said the prayer at the close of Visiting Teaching today, and that was a prevalent theme.

The LDSMommy said...

Hope all goes well tomorrow! You'll be in my thoughts & prayers!

Ferrel Family said...

Good luck tomorrow! I am so excited for you! Can't wait to see the new little one. Please let me know if you need anything!

Geary said...

What on earth does "had my eyebrows threaded" refer to? Also, how are you going to get the girls to leave off calling the baby by the name they already know for her?

Disco Mom said...

Very astute, Dad. When we told them the name tonight, Hazel threw herself on the couch, proclaiming, "I hate it!" (She's still lobbying for Swanita.) Ginger got very upset and said she wants it to still be Spanky Bum Bum when it comes out. I told her she can call her sister Spanky Bum Bum as long as she wants; I really don't care. And Hazel, well, after she'd had about 15 minutes to get used to it and we were eating ice cream later, she said she liked it now.

Disco Mom said...

Link for eyebrow threading: http://www.eyebrowthreading.com/

I started doing it at my hair salon in New York and found that at least two malls here have kiosks that do it quick and cheap. Faster than plucking, cleaner than waxing.

Sally DeFord said...

I hope you have a beautiful experience. I'll never forget when you came to see me in the hospital after Wyatt was born. How strange to think you know the day you are having your baby. You are such a wonderful mother. I can wait to have the name revealed.

Shells said...

Good luck sweetie, we will be thinking of you! Just think if you didn't know what day the baby would be born and you had the same tension you had yesterday, everyday for weeks, wondering when that little sweetie would arrive. So at least that is one good thing, there is a very real end in sight!

Jill T said...

Kari! I will be thinking about you today! I want you to know that I do not agree with the movie star whale comment, but it did make me laugh. Can't wait to see beautiful Hickman #3!

Barbara C. said...

We're thinking of you TODAY! You'll be fabulous, and Baby will be beautiful! Maybe she's already here...

Heather M. said...

Been thinking about you all week, and especially today. Hope it has all gone well and that you and baby are fine. So excited for you and your family! On another note, I just found an eyebrow threader up the street from my house... $7 a pop. She is good, not as complicated as having to go to the mall (plus no one is watching you), etc. I'll give you the details if you want. Congratulations and best wishes in the coming weeks! :)

Erin Hoadley Riutort said...

Just wanted to say that our family of five is not nearly as chaotic, noisy, or unmanageable as I was scared it would be. I found the third to be the easiest birth, fastest recovery, and most natural adjustment to the family (minus a few furrowed brows from the 2 year old). Best of luck. It's such a good number!! Also, there's a lot of love and patience when you feel like your family is complete and everyone is finally here :) And, as a 3rd child myself, I feel a special attachment to our #3, as I suspect you will! Enjoy!

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