Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

Me and my Mom

Me and my girls

First of all on this Mother's Day, I'd like to give kudos to my ward, who handled it in one of the most tasteful ways I've ever seen. The sacrament meeting talks were not sappy - 2 out of 3 did apply to families and mothers but were based on General Conference talks and very appropriate and enjoyable (good job, Lindsay!) In addition, women over 18 were NOT asked to stand at the end of the meeting to receive some "token of appreciation" like a flower or plant. I think it was due mostly to lack of organization, but I'm not complaining. No woman I know likes this tradition, though it seems fairly common among Mormon congregations. I would consider chocolate a better token, but even so. From my experience, it embarrasses women who do not have children, and women who do have children need appreciation from them and their husbands, not the ward. During Primary sharing time, a woman from the Relief Society presidency snuck in the back and discreetly pinned a simple silk flower corsage on each of us. I thought it was nice of them to remember us. The only other better thing I've heard of wards doing on Mother's Day is rallying the Young Men or other men's group to take over Primary and nursery for the third hour so all the women can go to Relief Society. That would have been nice, but our ward is not quite that organized.

Continuing on the Mother's Day topic, my favorite GPT site is having a Mother's Day contest. They gave 10 questions to answer and will pick a winner for each question. Winners receive $150 Spa Finder gift certificates. I found some of the questions hard to answer, some easy. Here are my answers, and while I'm not asking all of you to answer all 10 questions - it takes a long time and I thought I was done with writing essays! - I'd love to hear from you on any of them that strike you.

1. What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever done? When I was pregnant with my #2, my toddler often came with me to my OB check-up appointments, where they checked my blood pressure, the baby’s hearbeat, etc. Throughout the pregnancy I tried to explain to her the process of how the baby was growing and when she was ready, we would go to the hospital and the doctor would help the baby come out. She obviously made some extensions by toddler logic to this information and told everybody for months, including my husband, the doctor, the grocery clerk, etc., “The doctor put the baby in Mommy’s tummy.”

2. What is the best gift you have ever received from your child?

(I just copied this blog entry.)

3. What was your favorite moment with your child(ren)? Every hug and every I love you, I can’t pick just one.

4. What was the most important life lesson your own mother taught you? My mother fostered great emotional health in me and my sisters by teaching us to avoid unnecessary guilt. Not that guilt doesn’t have a place - sometimes it is necessary to right wrongs, learn lessons, and strengthen yourself – but to avoid the prohibitive guilt we as women sometimes lay on ourselves and each other.

5. What is the biggest sacrifice you have ever made for your children? Literally years of sleepless nights, starting from ½ way through the first pregnancy until my 2nd child was about 10 months old. That’s a lot of missed sleep.

2nd biggest sacrifice – The prep, experience, and recovery of two C-section births.

6. Of all the meals you have ever made, what was the least accepted meal by your family? Hamburgers and oven French fries, can you believe it? I was stoked making such a kid-friendly meal, “Wow, I’m such an awesome Mom.” But all I got were whines and whimpers, and a bunch of cold food.

7. When is the one time your child made you laugh the hardest? Her very first true laugh, when she was about 3 months old – we were in the car and I did some goofy face or sound that made her laugh, and when I heard that first ACTUAL, REAL laugh come from deep in her belly, a combination of pride, glee, amazement and love brimmed up and I couldn’t stop laughing with her the whole way home.

8. Of all the important lessons you've taught your children, what is the most important lesson you hope they carry on through life? That they are smart and strong and deeply loved by their parents and God.

9. At what moment in your life did it dawn on you that you are no longer living for yourself, but living for your kids? The first desperately sleep-deprived night home with a new baby, and every day since then. But there are times when something happens to make me re-realize it, like when a group of people are talking about movies in the theater and I’ve never heard of any of them, or when I look at my faded, stained wardrobe and can’t remember the last time I bought clothes for myself…and realize I don’t mind.

But lately I’m taking a new approach to motherhood, which is “When Mom is Taken Care of, Everyone Else is Better Taken Care of.” I’m not giving all the good blueberries to the kids anymore, but keeping a share for myself, too. I get a pampering haircut once in awhile, and sometimes we get together with my friends, and not just my kids’ friends. I’m still living for the kids 100%, but keeping in mind that part of that is treating their Mom right.

10. Name a time when you found yourself guilty of doing something that always bothered you when your own Mother did it. “Just a minute” followed by many, many minutes and sometimes never coming or forgetting what the kid wanted. Granted, I do it while I’m on the computer and my mom did it while doing something else, but the wrong is still the same.



MiaKatia said...

Happy Mother's Day!

The most embarrassing thing my daughter ever did... One Sunday during Sacrament meeting, during the prayer, Zoey was leaning over the back of the pew and let out the loudest toot imaginable by a two year old. Everyone heard it two rows up and two rows back. She turned to me and said just as loudly "It was mommy!" Laughter from all directions. Ugh, it still embarrasses me...

Lindsay said...

Thanks, Kari! Also, amen to loving those baby laughs. I can't even begin to count how many times I've enjoyed just rolling on the floor with Garrett, both of us laughing uncontrollably. It's the greatest!

Stratford-DeFord said...

kari, I love this post. You express yourself so well in writing. You are such a great mom. On a side note, Hank is wearing his 6-9 month clothes and I think of you every time he wears one of the onsies or cute brown pants you gave him. I miss you.

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