(I really did send this to him. After 10 years, I'm giving up subtle entirely.)
Dear Mr. Hickman,
This is to remind you that your wife's birthday is 28 days, or 4 weeks, away. She has maintained, updated, and prioritized an extensive wish list that you may take advantage of. Know that items rated "highest" are most wanted, "high" are also much wanted. Some items are noted as "4-for-3" which means if you order any 4 of them, you get the least expensive free. Amazon is known for quick shipping but you should order birthday items at least 1 1/2 weeks ahead of time to be certain. Your wife also loves chocolate and has spelled out her ideal gift box in this blog post, which also includes the link to order it.
It is recommended that you set yourself a reminder for January 21 or 22, which is about a week and a half before her birthday, to do some thinking and shopping. Please flag this email for quick reference. Furthermore, know that any items obtained in exchange for the Christmas gifts you said you would return count as Christmas gifts, not birthday or Mother's Day gifts. Your timely attention to that issue is greatly appreciated.
Finally, Valentine's Day is a mere 12 days after your wife's birthday. It is a time to ponder and express your love for each other. Some of the gifts on her wish list may do that better than others. Flowers and well-thought-out acts of kindness are also good ideas on that day. January 31 is a good day to start thinking about Valentine's Day. It is common to not think about February dates while still in January, so another Blackberry reminder is recommended.
Thank you for your attention to these crucial matters.
Hickman Family Administrator