First Day

11:06 am
Hazel's in kindergarten and I am FREAKING out. How did this come so fast? She's so big. And so small. Ed went with us and we all walked her to school this morning. She waltzed down the halls in her pink dress, pink shirt, pink shoes, pink backpack and pink lunchbox, saying, "C'mon, Dad, I'll show you where my class is!" She put her lunch in the lunch cubby, hung her backpack up on her hook, sat down at her seat and started her coloring worksheet right away. I hugged her, everything looked blurry, told her I was proud of her. "Yeah, Mom, bye."I feel so jittery, can't really wrap my mind around anything except, "What's she doing now?" Forget being productive today. Surviving is the best to expect.

1:23 pm
Things are quiet. Poppy is sleeping. Ginger is having quiet time, reading cookbooks. I still have the anxious panic feeling inside. I know Hazel is only 0.7 miles away but I feel like she's been taken from me. I'm so worried. Don't ask what about, there's no telling. Just worried. I admit it's nice having the one-on-one time with Ginger. She doesn't have her playmate but there is also no fighting. And we could all stand a little more quiet love and a little less confrontation. This is prime get-things-done time but all I can do is stare out the window, wander around aimlessly, and finally sit down to type.

When we got back from Colorado, we got the letter telling who her teacher is, and the supply list. School supply shopping is now one of my most favorite things to do. Thanks to Target. And to our school being the only one in the district on the modified calendar* so we get the jump on supply selection.Yesterday we walked over to the school to meet her teachers and see her classroom. They had a scavenger hunt worksheet for her, to find things around the room like her seat, the calendar and the bathroom. That's how she knew the drill this morning. Like she'd been doing it her whole life.

And speaking of whole life, that's what we're facing here. From age 5 to 30 I lived the academic calendar (except for my mission.) Then when Hazel was born and we moved to New York my life and the seasons were my own. It's been a good 5-year run, doing what we want. But we have to stay globally competitive, don't we, so our kids go to school and we're once again slaves to the Man. Until Poppy finishes graduate school. And then I'll be old. The End.

Lots of thoughts going through my head today. Like how freaking hot and humid it is, and how we'll be walking 2.8 miles every single day for this. And how bundling up for cold weather will add a good 15 minutes on either end when that comes along. And how my life is suddenly so focused on 8:45 and 3:41. And how I have to pack her a lunch every single day. I mean, I guess she can buy sometimes but mostly I'll pack it. And that will have to be its own blog post soon because it's only the first day and I'm out of ideas. Or maybe just faint and foggy because my brain is not getting oxygen. Breathe, gotta breathe.

5:58 pm
Picking her up was a great relief. We got there on time. I was so happy to hug her. She came out smiling and immediately entered into a running report starting with, "Hi, Mom. We learned math!" and going from there. Partway home I looked in her backpack and it was missing her lunchbox so we went back for it. Her teacher told me, "Hazel had an excellent first day." But, you know. She's a kindergarten teacher.

Things were blurry on the way home but this time it was from the buckets of sweat pouring down my face and into my eyes. Hazel's hair was dripping. Even Ginger and Poppy were bright red and they were just riding in the stroller. I had brought 2 bottles of water but we guzzled them right away; tomorrow I'll bring more. Now, two hours later and in air conditioning, I'm still sticky and steamy. I think this may be a good month for two showers a day.

Last night we had a special back-to-school party/FHE. Hazel requested pizza and lemonade for dinner. Chocolate cake with vanilla icing and sprinkles for dessert: Ed gave a brief age-appropriate lesson about learning and education. And I'm so glad our overflowing recycling bin is in this picture. After dinner, dessert and lesson was the best part: blessings. I don't know if other families do this, but my father always gave us blessings before each school year and I believe they were a source of protection, strength and inspiration because school is a tricky thing, especially when you get a bit older. So Ed gave Hazel a blessing. Ginger wanted one next, even though we will have another back-to-school night for her when she starts preschool. By then I was bawling, and heck, I wanted one, too. Thanks, Ed.

So Hazel's report of the day was scattered, as I expected, but I got some choice details - lunch math (adding up and comparing who brought, who wants turkey sandwiches, who wants yogurt, etc.), two recesses, how Anthony moved to yellow on the behavior chart and has to stay in for recess tomorrow (there was much speculation over dinner about what Anthony did), and the reading of a book called Mrs. Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten. When we got home we had a snack and Hazel asked to watch Cars. I told her OK as long as she stays sitting up. A friend of mine warned how tired new kindergarteners are and I didn't want her to fall asleep.

So, success! She went to school. She survived. I survived. Amazing.

I can't believe we have to do it again tomorrow!

*Modified calendar is not exactly year-round school but close. We get out at the end of June, same as the rest of the district. School starts beginning of August, then there are two weeks off in October and two weeks off in March/April, prior to spring break. Two weeks off for winter break is the same as everyone else. The October and April breaks are called intersessions, and the school offers optional enrichment courses that you can pay for - this is good for kids who may be behind and need extra help catching up or just things for fun, like African dance or cooking with math. Or your kid can just take a break or your family can go on vacation in the off-season. Love that. Unfortunately the October break will always coincide with Ed's elk hunting trip, so there will have to be some negotiations on that in the future.

Daniel and the Lions' Den (in 40 seconds or less)

We've been listening to "Follow the Prophet" a lot lately in the car. If you don't know the song, you can hear it here. If you do, you know it's fun to sing, especially for kids, for the first few verses. And then it's like, "Holy rats, when is this song going to end?" Luckily we have a jazzed-up version by Clive Romney (click here for the CD) that makes the whole thing bearable, even cool.

The girls love it, so we have it on repeat a lot. Which means they are actually learning the verses, each about a different scriptural prophet. And learning leads to questions. Which leads to more learning. So as they ask, I tell the simplified versions of Bible stories, and lately they have asked to retell the stories for Family Home Evening lessons. Adorable. It's always interesting what story parts sink in and what gets left out. Last week Ginger taught us the story of Daniel (her favorite.) A few nights later I got her to retell it again on video. (The dress-ups are incidental, just what she was wearing at the time.)

I never know how understandable my kids are to others, especially on computer video, so here's the transcription:

"In Daniel and the Lion's Den, Daniel...one of the people made a law, and, so none of the people could pray to God, but Daniel did pray to God. So he was in the lions' den, but God was there to send the angels. But the king was crying because his best friend...he thought his best friend was hurt, but he wasn't. So they got rid of the law. (What about Hazel's speech?)"

Is she the cutest thing ever? We'll do Hazel soon. I think her favorite is Jonah but it changes.

FHE: Bowling

Looks like we have a new winter tradition. Maybe next year I can beat Ed.

FHE: Mini Golfing

Guess if we had a good time.

FHE Chart Assignment

I'm off to England tomorrow so while I'm gone I've got an assignment for you.

I want a new Family Home Evening chart for our family. Family Home Evening is a time set aside, usually Monday night, for building family relationships. Usually we study and discuss religious topics and/or do an activity like a game or service. Traditionally an FHE "program" consists of:
Opening song
Opening prayer
Lesson
Activity
Closing song
Closing prayer
Treats

It's also traditional for each of these items to be assigned to family members on a rotating basis. Thus the need for a chart. In my family growing up my mom made a chart by covering a thick posterboard with cloth, then making two rows of cloth pockets shaped like flower pots, with the names of each assignment on them. Each family member had a flower made from cloth and pipe cleaners with our names on them, and there was one flower in each pot. It hung on the wall in the hall so all week we could see what our assignment would be for Monday night, then after FHE we would move the flowers over one for next week's assignments.

I'd prefer not to have to make my own chart, but I'm coming to the realization I'll probably have to. I just haven't seen anything acceptable out there. For example, all of these ideas make me want to puke. These charts are not so offensive, just boring. At Women's Conference last week in Utah I got re-inspired to hold regular Family Home Evening, and the girls are big enough to take on assignments. With a chart we could be organized about it - a visual reminder to all of us to prepare and make that time a priority. I spent the better part of some of the sessions doodling, trying to come up with design ideas.

And here we run into a manifestation of a larger issue I have. When it comes to design, I know what I like and what I don't like but I suck at coming up with my own ideas. I'm already struggling with this right now as I prepare to move into my own home - my FIRST own home - and try to create a cohesive design vision for it. It's painful and I know eventually I'll need professional help.

But back to the chart. Has anyone else run into this problem? Have any of you seen a good chart - and by good I mean creative, stylish, modern, clever, fresh - or anything that could inspire one or be like one? I'm not thrilled with my own designs, and even less thrilled with the prospect of executing them, but I will if I have to. The main thing is that this is going to be hanging on the wall in my home, so it has to look like art or equally classy, not like a school project. I am very, very open to ideas. Especially you designers and artists out there, or anyone who knows one. I need everyone's help here. You have 10 days.

We Wii

After I finished Breaking Dawn last week I was once again able to tear myself away from the house and participate in real world social interactions (though now, a week later, I am still trying to catch up on lost sleep.) My cousin Aaron and his wife Katy and super cutey son Reuben invited us over for a "sweet" Family Home Evening.

First, Katy, ex-supreme nursery leader, led a short lesson/discussion on what it means to be "sweet." We went around the circle and said something sweet about the person on our left. Then we moved to the table to frost and decorate a sweet treat - homemade red velvet cupcakes - yum!
Then we did a sweet activity - Wii! This activity was further evidence of our family's lag in technology. I had done one turn on a Wii once at a church activity; Ed had never done anything, and of course neither had the girls. Katy had gone to the trouble (it's actually her favorite part) to make each of our avatars ahead of time, so we were already in the system. First we helped the girls do skiing and soccer:


Ed and I also tried our hands but mostly did worse than the girls and at one point I was downright embarrassed, like I was back in high school gym class, completely athletically inept.

Then Aaron and Katy convinced Ed and I to do a little boxing. The competition was fierce, and all self-consciousness went out the window in our attempt to beat each other down.

It was super close but Ed did knock me out, and the only reason I couldn't get up is because the game is rigged. Now we'll just have to go back sometime so I can make it right. Thanks for a super fun night, Cummings!

The Good Stuff - Special Fall Edition

While there's a lot of Good Stuff out there, only a few choice items earn their own special edition. Trader Joe's Pumpkin Bread and Muffin Mix is the only one I can think of so far. My sister Maren told me about it a couple years ago, and good heavens, I've never been the same since.

That first year we were sorely disappointed to find it's a seasonal item. It shows up in September and disappears after Thanksgiving sometime. That's a lesson I only had to learn once, and now every fall we stock up for the year - about 30 boxes.

I've actually never made a loaf from the mix - we always do muffins. And with mini eaters around here we make mini muffins. The mix itself is perfect, but embellishments only improve it. Our favorite is adding a handful of oats, a couple tablespoons of ground flax seed and about 1/2 to 3/4 cup mini chocolate chips. Sometimes chopped pecans. A friend told me she made them with white chocolate chips, which I'm sure is good if you believe in white chocolate. I think they'd be good with anything - any nuts or dried fruits, coconut, lemon or orange zest, etc. Maybe not capers. It makes about 4 dozen minis. After they cool we freeze them and eat them straight from the freezer for breakfast or snacks - they crumble less when frozen, which means less mess.

I've never met a kid (or adult) that doesn't like these. Once I took some on a visiting teaching visit in New York, and my friend's kids gobbled them up while I was there; she had to rescue one for herself and put it out of reach. They truly disappeared at Hazel's last birthday party. Today I babysat a little 1-year-old girl for a few hours who cried almost the whole time except when she was snarfing muffins.

Making these has of course become a favorite family activity for us. We even made them for FHE last week. Talk about a perfect evening - fillling the house with spicy autumnal aromas while having a little lesson, then eating them warm with milk before bed.

I mean, I'm truly sorry if you don't have a Trader Joe's. I know that pain. But get a friend to hook you up - it's only here once a year, and it's quickly becoming my favorite thing about fall. It's hard to compete with something that elicits, "Mommy, you make the best muffins in the whole world!"

First FHE

Last night we had our first real Family Home Evening. The girls are getting old enough, we decided, and our lives are getting normal enough, that it's time to institute weekly FHE. We gave it a shot last night. Of course when you make efforts to do something right, forces combine to thwart those efforts. Ed got some sudden work late in the day and so didn't come home until about 8pm. The girls were wired from fatigue and Daddy's arrival, and didn't want to sit on the couch or do anything else except whine and flop around. Ginger moaned in protest through Hazel's prayer, and bit my leg before it was over, thus securing herself an immediate time-out-turned-early-bedtime. Hazel insisted on "fishing" with her toy dog-on-a-leash during the songs, and threw a fist-pounding-back-arching fit when it was taken away. Even I, usually a model of emotional control, ended up throwing a few things angrily and marching into another room to collect myself. What would we do without even-tempered Ed?

But the 15 minutes it lasted had its shining moments. Hazel has created a rote prayer she likes to say at every opportunity: "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for this food and this lunch and this prayer. And don't forget my best friend Kaleigh. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." As expected, this was also her opening prayer for Family Home Evening last night. We took this first FHE to talk about prayer, to explain that you say different things in your prayers depending on the setting and circumstances, and you should always think about what you want to say before praying. Just as we were losing their attention, Ed pulled out the September Friend (the LDS magazine for kids) and said, "Now we're going to read a story about a girl who was too scared to go to sleep."

Ginger immediately climbed up onto his lap and Hazel snuggled up to him with sudden and intense interest. It was about a little girl who was scared of the noise a branch made against her window. Her father came to comfort her and suggested she could pray to feel better. So they prayed together that she wouldn't be afraid anymore, and she was able to go to sleep. I wanted badly to take a picture of the three of them reading the story, but my camera was upstairs and I didn't want to leave. Hazel loved it, and it bought us one more quick chance to testify that you can pray to Heavenly Father for help with anything, and not just at meals and bedtime. Then we sang a couple of songs, read a bedtime story, and had a closing prayer. By this time Ginger was in time-out-bed, but Hazel got a muffin for dessert, and my angel husband put her to bed and did the dishes while I recovered from my own outburst.

Overall it was a success but I do hope it will get easier.