Second Talk (featuring Ginger Art)

A few months ago Ginger gave her second Primary talk, which means she was assigned a topic, and prepared a 2-minute talk to give in front of all the children at church, ages 3-11.  I helped her brainstorm and organize, but she wrote and memorized the words, and drew her own prompt cards.  She has such a cute little voice, it was precious.

"I Feel My Savior's Love When I Try to be Like Jesus"

by Ginger Hickman

April 22, 2012

When Jesus visited the Nephites in 3 Nephi 27, he said, "Therefore, what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am."

One day recently my family went to the park.  A girl about my age came over and asked me if I would be her friend.  I liked her and we played together.

 Jesus loves everybody, so I was like Him when I made a new friend.

Every morning our family reads the scriptures.  I liked the story about the stripling warriors so much that I asked to read it two days in a row. 

Jesus loves the scriptures, so when I read them I become more like him.

Jesus taught us to pray.  Every night when I pray at dinner, I pray for Dad at work that he will come home safely and it happens. 

When I pray with faith, I'm trying to be like Jesus and I feel His love. 

Every day I try to be like Jesus, and when I try my best, I feel the Savior's love.

First Talk (featuring Ginger Art!)

You might remember when Hazel gave her first talk about a year and a half ago. In that post I explained The Gideon Method, which we use for creating and giving talks. Worked great.

So when Ginger was recently asked to give a talk in Primary at church, we decided to try the same route. The topic she was given was "The scriptures teach that the gospel shall be preached in all the world." The theme for the year is "I know the scriptures are true" so all the monthly topics have to do with the scriptures. I figured we could work with that.

So one afternoon while Poppy was sleeping, Ginger and I sat on my bed with our scriptures and a notepad to brainstorm. We talked about the scriptures. We talked about preaching the gospel and missionaries. And we pretty quickly came up with the talk. I pretty much just wrote down exactly what she said, and rearranged it slightly. Then I gave her 5x7 cards and markers and stood back. She wanted to do all the art herself, which is perfect because she knew exactly what each picture meant to her, and it made the memorizing almost effortless. We practiced the heck out of it for about a week, then on Sunday she stood up with confidence and delivered it like a pro. That's my girl.

"The Scriptures Teach that the Gospel Shall be Preached in All the World"
by Ginger Hickman
September 4, 2011

In Matthew 24:14, Jesus says, "This gospel shall be preached in all the world." He's talking about missionaries.
(Jesus is in the middle and the others are "people.")

Missionaries can be a boy or a girl. Girl missionaries are called Sisters and boy missionaries are called Elders. Missionaries work very hard to be obedient and represent Jesus Christ.
(This one is a girl missionary. You can tell from the hair. Apparently.)

This is my Aunt Natalee. Right now she is on a mission in Romania. In a recent letter she said, "Missionary work really keeps you on your toes." That means you have to be prepared for anything because you never know what might happen.
(Ed's youngest sister; you can follow Nat's missionary adventures here.)

This is my cousin Thompson. Next year he'll go on a mission. He wants to go to Russia, but he'll go wherever the Lord says.
(Taken outside the Newseum when Thompson was evacuated from William & Mary for hurricane Irene and stayed with us for the weekend.)

When I grow up and be a missionary I want to go to New York to help teach the gospel.
(The black one is Ginger - "because missionaries wear black" - and the gray one is the Statue of Liberty.)
I know the scriptures are true. I know the gospel is true because the gospel is in the scriptures and the scriptures are true.
(This one is Ginger's scripture case - it's green with pink flowers on it.)

Daniel and the Lions' Den (in 40 seconds or less)

We've been listening to "Follow the Prophet" a lot lately in the car. If you don't know the song, you can hear it here. If you do, you know it's fun to sing, especially for kids, for the first few verses. And then it's like, "Holy rats, when is this song going to end?" Luckily we have a jazzed-up version by Clive Romney (click here for the CD) that makes the whole thing bearable, even cool.

The girls love it, so we have it on repeat a lot. Which means they are actually learning the verses, each about a different scriptural prophet. And learning leads to questions. Which leads to more learning. So as they ask, I tell the simplified versions of Bible stories, and lately they have asked to retell the stories for Family Home Evening lessons. Adorable. It's always interesting what story parts sink in and what gets left out. Last week Ginger taught us the story of Daniel (her favorite.) A few nights later I got her to retell it again on video. (The dress-ups are incidental, just what she was wearing at the time.)

I never know how understandable my kids are to others, especially on computer video, so here's the transcription:

"In Daniel and the Lion's Den, Daniel...one of the people made a law, and, so none of the people could pray to God, but Daniel did pray to God. So he was in the lions' den, but God was there to send the angels. But the king was crying because his best friend...he thought his best friend was hurt, but he wasn't. So they got rid of the law. (What about Hazel's speech?)"

Is she the cutest thing ever? We'll do Hazel soon. I think her favorite is Jonah but it changes.

First Talk (featuring more Hazel Art!)

Hazel gave her first talk in Primary last week. When the assignment came a few weeks ago it was one of the few times in my life I felt ready. Thanks to Brook Waddoups.

Brook was in my ward in New York. When they moved in about a year after us we were thrilled to get her 5-year-old son Gideon in our scraggly Primary. Assignment rotations were short in that ward, and Gideon was asked to give a talk right away. As parents usually do, Brook came in to help him when it was time. Gideon stepped up to the podium and Brook knelt down in front and slightly to the side of it, facing him. I was surprised, expecting her to stand next to him and whisper the talk sentence-by-sentence into his ear, as is usually done with young children (and which immediately loses the audience because it makes the talk so disjointed and usually boring.)

Instead, Gideon stood up by himself and looked out confidently at the room. Brook produced a stack of purple index cards which she held up one by one for Gideon to look at. As she did so, Gideon glanced at the cards and spoke several sentences for each, detailing a number of scripture stories to illustrate his points. He concluded by explaining the scriptural origin of his own name and his hopes to become as great as his namesake. He finished with a simple testimony and sat down. I was floored.

I stopped Brook on her way out and asked how the heck I could help my children become so confident - and competent - at the podium at such a young age. She shrugged and said that's how her parents helped her give talks. She showed me the cards - they contained simple stick-figure drawings she and Gideon had created together to give visual cues to each part of the talk. I was totally impressed and tucked that impression away until I should need it.

Fast forward a few years to now. Hazel's giving a talk. She's 4 years old. She's demonstrated a strong ability to memorize but possibly at the cost of comprehension. I happen to have a lot of index cards in one of the office drawers. We'll give it a try.

We took the topic - "I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me" and I brainstormed with her a little during her bath one night. Then I wrote out her ideas into a simple talk structure. After the bath we sat down with the blank cards and I read some sentences to her. She chose which parts of the talk she wanted to draw pictures for, and I drew the rest (that's right, this post features Kari Art as well.) The process of taking ideas and words and interpreting them into art is one of the best ways to achieve comprehension, so by the time we had it all put together she knew exactly what she was talking about.

We practiced a few times. Each time we went through the cards she worded things slightly differently but got the point across. I love that. Sunday came. She stood up to the microphone. I knelt facing her. I flashed her cues. She spoke calmly, clearly, confidently. It was a thing of beauty. She was a thing of beauty. By the end it was clear that she really did know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love her. (And so do I.)

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ Love Me
by Hazel Hickman

I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love me.
(Note: Long hair and beards. Wings on the one on the left.)

They have given me my family and good food to eat.
(Note Mommy with baby in tummy, far left. Food on right includes pizza, pear, orange, apple.)

They have given me good friends and I feel good at church.

I also love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. 1 John 4:19 says, "We love him because he first loved us."

I try to show my love for Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ by giving my heart to them.

I try to be reverent in sacrament meeting and Primary, and to share and take turns with my sister.

I know Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love all of us.

Nursery Rhymes

And speaking of Nursery, I've found a gem. In an a conversation today with my brother Dave, guru of all things I need to know, he explained Blog Search to me and I was fiddling around with it. I searched "LDS Nursery" out of curiosity, and in the list found an article on Mormon Times called "Weaning Sunbeams." Exactly pertinent to what we are going through, both at Nursery and at home with Hazel, so I clicked and read, and silently smiled at the universal experience all Nursery leaders and Sunbeam teachers must have had this last Sunday.

I chuckled thinking of the newfound liberation felt by the younger toddlers, freed from the dangers and opression of the big & burly 3-year-olds. Also the near-half class size, the more prominent role of the battery operated bubble machine, and the one new Sunbeam begging to return to the good life (all of which happened to us.) I got a kick out of the entire thing, and see that the author, Stacie Duce, writes her Nursery Rhymes column a couple times a month. She just got a new reader.

Bean Shakers

Listen up and pay attention, all teachers and parents of toddlers-to-preschoolers. This here's the mother of genius activities. When we began to serve in nursery last fall you may remember my call for craft ideas. I got many responses, typed them up for a reference, and have been working my way through them when it's our turn to do activity. We tried this one a few months ago because it was cheap, easy to prepare, and easy to clean up, and we were BLOWN AWAY at its success. Every single kid, from newly 18 months to almost 4 could do it...and loved it. We did it again last Sunday, same results.

I give complete, total, and gratitude-laden, bordering on worshipful, credit to cousin-in-law Katy for this. She was a nursery leader in Charlottesville last year and threw herself wholeheartedly into it. She even kept a blog for a few months of all her lesson plans and ideas. She gave me a whole list of ideas in response to the October call for crafts (see those comments), and more on the phone. She said she came up with this one at about 11:30 pm one Saturday night out of desperation. Amazing. Here you go:

Take two small dixie cups and tape them together so they are closed. Poke a small hole (I use a mechanical pencil) in the top just large enough for a bean. Give the kids beans that they can shove through the hole. I don't know why but they LOVE doing this. When they are done tape the top closed with a piece of masking tape. Makes a shaker for singing time or just to make noise. (Good for lessons about being grateful for ears or moving because the dancing is more exciting with noise etc.)

Keeps them sitting still, keeps them engaged, excellent fine motor skill work, and the big kids can do more, the little ones less, but everyone ends up with a shaker that looks the same. For a real challenge I gave some of the bigger kids pony beads to pop in. They're about the same size as beans but harder to hold on to.

The first time we made these we kept them all as a class set and use them during music time. Yesterday we put their names on and sent them home. I think we'll be doing this at least once a quarter. These shakers rock my world.

The Year of the Crockpot

Here we go, folks. It's a new year. It's a fresh start. It's...afternoon church. One to 4 pm every Sunday. Somehow that seems like a longer three hours than 9 to 12. Especially in the winter when it gets dark so early. And especially on fast Sunday. With my free time in the morning now instead of in the afternoon on Sunday I'll be doing whatever prep I can so we can eat dinner on time, or as soon as possible after church. And that means using the slow cooker! Aw, twist my arm.

Yesterday I cleaned a whole roaster chicken, and filled the cavity with chopped onions and a pierced clementine (would've done a lemon but I didn't have one.) Drizzled it with olive oil, slid some smashed garlic cloves under the skin, and rubbed it with lots of grill seasoning and Italian seasoning. Put it in the crockpot on HIGH for 6 hours, though I'm sure 4 would have done it. Then I did all the chopping prep work for a cold edamame & radish salad, and if I wasn't on the Core plan I would have thrown some stuff into my bread machine as well. Good thing I didn't because I would have eaten the entire loaf, slathered with melting butter, the minute I stepped in the door. As it was, we were at the table eating dinner 15 minutes after getting home. Love that!

Slow Cooker Week in October was awesome - one recipe a day for a week. Then in December we had a goody recipe a day for a month. Well I don't dare commit to 365 days of crockpot recipes, or even 52, one each Sunday. Some weeks I'm sure we'll have spaghetti, leftovers or cold cereal after church. I'm also a fan of Rachael Ray's 30 Minute Meals, though we all know they take longer than that. But it's hard to beat the ease of a slow cooker, and the warm welcome of cooking smells when you come home. So I'm yet again on the hunt for good recipes. I have about 5 or 6 in the lineup to try, and welcoming more. And of course I'll share the love by posting my keepers. Who knows, I'm so addicted to digital bookmaking, maybe we will have another cookbook by the end of the year.

Call for Crafts for Teeny Tinies

Nursery is going...ok. Let's just say there is room for improvement. We need to get more organized and stick to a tight schedule. We've been kind of experimenting with this the last few weeks but it's time to nail it down. Please help. We also need about 10 on-call non-nursery-parent helpers that can come hold cryers as needed. But that's not what this is about.

This is about a desperate need. During the second hour of nursery we have three stations that last about 10 minutes each, and we rotate three evenly numbered groups among them: lesson, activity, snack. Everyone loves snack, it's no problem. Lesson is pretty good with the new manual.

Activity. Please help. The lesson manual usually has coloring pages but honestly the kids get tired of coloring, and if they're bored it doesn't take the 10 minutes. So we tried branching out last week, and not doing something necessarily related to the lesson. We made macaroni necklaces* and they loved it. Even kids who are usually bouncing off the walls sat still and concentrated on what they were doing for a few minutes. Please help. Today I got Mom over and we brainstormed a little on other arts & crafts we can do, and we did come up with a few ideas. But I figured if two of us came up with a few, all of us can come up with a lot, especially since there seem to be several moms and ex-nursery workers out there! Please help.

Parameters:

1. Something a young 2-year-old can do at least partially by himself. For each 10-minute period there are 5 to 8 kids (age 18-47 months) and 2 adults so it has to be supervisable with that ratio.
   
2. Take a group like this about 8 to 10 minutes to complete, and it has to take up the whole 8 to 10 minutes.
3. No glitter or paint or anything else too messy. They are all wearing their best clothes. Minimal glue or other things the adults have to do.
   
4. Cheap enough so about 25 can be made for less than $10, preferably much less.
5. Either fun to make or motivating to have the finished product. Please help.
6. Nice to make something to take home but don't have to every time.
7. Bonus is relating to a gospel topic or particular lesson, but I don't expect it every time

Here's what we came up with:

• Egg carton caterpillars
• Cotton batting circles on paper snowmen
• Leaf activities (rubbings, headbands, possibly laminatable placemats)
• Hand tracings are turkeys
• Paper or plastic cup bells
• Paper plate shakers full of beans
• Popsicle stick puppets
  
• Paper bag puppets
• Paper airplanes - decorate, fold and fly
• Spiral paper plate snakes - color paper plate, cut in a spiral, hold one end up and it falls in a descending spiral

But honestly only about half of those seem truly fun to me, though they're all better than a plain coloring page week after week. What have you got? Please help.

*How to make a macaroni necklace: Cut long pieces of yarn. Tie a wooden bead on one end. Dip the other end in glue up to a few inches so it will be stiff. Let dry on wax paper. Decorate large rotini pasta with glitter glue and allow to dry on wax paper. Give a handful of pasta and one string to each kid. Rotini is so big that almost every kid could string them themselves with the stiffened yarn.

Disco Mom Goes All Financial On You (GAFOY)

Ed's a smart guy. He's also got a degree in finance, just finished three years with an investment bank on Wall Street, and owns a natural curiosity that spurns him to read and learn about things he's interested in: namely, elk hunting and finance. I'm no dummy either, but from an early age I've had an aversion to anything political, government or business related. Which, I see now, has put me at a mighty disadvantage to live and function in the world as an adult. With a big deal election coming up and the economy in an unprecedented state of chaos, I'm trying to catch up.

Two of my three siblings have expressed to me harsh distaste for political blogging (not that I could or would anyway), so, at the risk of making an idiot of myself, I go straight to finance.

Over the last three years my economic knowledge and understanding have increased through long discussions with Ed, so I have had a much better context for current events that I otherwise would. And with all that has been happening lately, and the addition of seeing Ed more often, our discussions have become longer and more frequent. Sometimes he emails me articles during the day and we discuss them at night. Sometimes I catch a financial blurb on public radio while running errands and - oh, rare but exciting joy of joys - get to tell him something he didn't know. Through our discussions I've gained a little confidence, enough to occasionally posit a thoughtful question or propose an idea or connection. (Of course they are usually things he has already thought of but he is very patient with me and gives me the praise I require for using my brain.)

So, no, I don't have any surprise economic analysis to share, and I wouldn't presume to be able to teach readers something new. The national and global economies are complex and I'm still learning. But I can share a few things that have been helpful to me.

There are three main parts to the current economic situation:

The Past, or how we got here. This article from 1999 about Fannie Mae's acceptance of subprime loans gives a brief but haunting report and prediction. The author, Steven Holmes, has every right now to say, "I told you so." It suggests political pressures to get everyone the American dream of home ownership, whether they can afford it or not, as one of the causes. But this Seeking Alpha article, The Great Consumer Crash of 2009, has been the most helpful to me so far, in laying out in charts and brief numbered points how the hell it got so bad. And what's happening now as a result. My favorite quote, "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked."
Conclusion: Americans have been allowed to live on too much credit, and that can't go on forever. Eventually you have to pay the piper.

The Present, or what's happening now. Again, The Great Consumer Crash article does a good job explaining this, though it's just one man's take, and certainly too simple to include everything. But it's a good start. Ed says it's a more pessimistic view than many analysts are willing to admit yet, but I think more and more are coming to that side every day. No one wants to cause panic, but I'd like to know, expect, and plan for the worst, personally. Last night Ed and I sat in our living room and listened to an hour-long BBC radio broadcast debate, "World economy on the brink?" We felt like we were back in the olden days, sitting by the fire listening to radio programs to learn what's happening in the world. But despite jargon I had to have Ed explain later, like leverage, recapitalization and contra-cyclical, it was well done and helpful. Ken in Hong Kong was especially insightful if only the moderator wouldn't have interrupted him so much. At one point they were discussing "who's to blame" for how we got here, and I was surprised that all blame was laid on the government and the banks. Not a single panel member mentioned the individuals living grossly beyond their means to be at fault. I wonder if the economy can ever stabilize until people become responsible and accountable again for their own finances, and learn to live and save within their means.
Conclusion: It's bad. No one knows what will happen next, or exactly how many of the wheels in motion will play out. In the least, several waves of ripple effects are still expected.

The Future, or how we can recover. Of course the President's bailout plan is on the table. Ed did a good job explaining this to me in terms of the savings & loan scandals in the late 80's and early 90's, of which I was completely oblivious. It worked then, but the scale now is monstrously grander. Everyone has an opinion - again the BBC radio show addresses this - but the reality is that the situation is unprecedented. A bailout could work or not work. The economy could swing back or fall deeper. Whatever happens, America is facing a recovery phase, and we have already dropped out as the global economic power we once were - Asia is king now, though I don't know exactly what that means. I asked Ed what the chances are of falling into another Great Depression and he pointed out that there are things in place, like the FDIC, that are supposed to keep that from ever happening again. But they are being tested, and will be tested further, and we can only hope they will hold up. Unemployment is at about 6.1%; during the Depression it was 25%. But life back then was more rural, and people found ways to survive. With our current two-income, commuter workforce society, it's hard to say what will happen if more people continue to lose jobs, lose health insurance, and lose homes.

Howard Marks is chairman of Oaktree, a large money management firm. He frequently writes memos about financial things as he sees them to Oaktree employees and clients, and those memos often get forwarded and passed around Wall Street and financial people. His views are insightful and well-respected. His most recent memo, dated Wednesday, explains the bailout, and it's worth reading.
Conclusion: If we haven't already, start tightening the belt. Lose the consumer mentality, cut expenses, save some money. Live within our households' means. Rough seas ahead. Words like meltdown, panic, crisis, collapse and worst ever are being thrown around.

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, none of this should come as a surprise. Our leaders have been telling and warning us for years, in fact decades, to live providently. And not just for kicks, but for safety and security in an unpredictable world, the world in which we now live. Elder L. Tom Perry's 1995 talk, "If Ye Are Prepared Ye Shall Not Fear," and Elder Jospeh B. Wirthlin's 2004 talk, "Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts" are just two examples of the constant counsel we have been given, and hopefully taken.

It's a fascinating, if confusing and scary, time to be taking home-based Econ 101. But, knowledge being power, I'm trying hard to understand as much as I can so as to be a responsible citizen and steward of my family.

Got comments? Please share - I'd love to learn from you.

Got questions? Call me. I'll give the phone to Ed.

Oh Yes, They Did

Saturday we got a call from Seth Lucia, 2nd counselor in our ward's bishopric, and who we knew from Boulder as well. Would we mind coming to church a little early to meet with him? Sure, no problem.

Finally, I thought, we're getting callings. Two months of "vacation" from church responsibilities has been nice, but we're ready to have something to do. And the pressure's off because most of the hefty leadership callings have recently been filled. Will we get our dream callings? Ed's is nursery worker, mine is Enrichment committee. Or will we be blindsided by something unexpected like ward missionaries?

Saturday night we joked about it. Ed suggested if he wants to see us together, our calling will be together. But in a ward this large couples often share callings, like primary teachers. "Or nursery leaders," Ed said.

They wouldn't, you're thinking.

And that's your first mistake. It's ok, it was mine too.

They didn't, you say.

Oh yes, they did.

When Seth said it Ed broke into a huge grin; there were almost tears in his eyes he was so happy. My expression was probably somewhere between a cringe and a grimace. Seth noticed and asked if I was concerned about the isolation factor of serving in nursery. No, I answered. There are other opportunities to meet and be around people. It's more the being-around-so-many-little-kids factor, the exact reason Ed is excited. It's a new scene for him, just more of the same for me. But what surprised me even more than the calling itself was that as we sat with Seth and he asked if we would accept, I felt really good about it, excited even, and I heard myself say yes. The Spirit is a most mysterious power. And hey, at least it's not activities committee, which the nursery leaders we're replacing got!

So after sacrament meeting we went downstairs to nursery, and instead of dropping the girls off at the cabinet barrier, we entered with them. In retrospect we should have given them warning we were staying. We were just kind of in shock and hadn't thought to tell them we were their new teachers. As a result they were both confused and ridiculously weepy, clingy and whiney for the next 2 hours; the other nursery workers said they had never acted like that before.

Nursery is for 18 month to 3 year olds (they stay until the January after they turn 3). It lasts for almost 2 hours, while everyone else is in Sunday school and then Relief Society and Priesthood classes. Our ward has approximately 25 kids in nursery, and 8 adult workers (4 couples). We have three rooms at the end of a hallway to work with, and tons of toys. The first hour is spent on free play, with different stuff set up in each room like blocks, books, cars, coloring, playdough, etc. Then we clean up and divide the kids into 3 groups, one in each room. Every 10 minutes or so they rotate rooms - lesson, activity, snack. One couple is in charge of each room on a rotating basis, with the 4th couple getting a week off to attend the adult classes. That's the plan, anyway. The bishopric has assured us that if we need more help they will get it for us. A refreshing change from Bensonhurst! Ed assured them I will take them up on that, having been on the bishopric receiving end of things when I was primary president in New York.

I was immediately thinking, "How can I talk Katy into picking No Crying Nursery (blog) back up so I can mooch off her excellence even though she's not nursery leader anymore?" But then I learned there's a brand new nursery lesson manual called Behold Your Little Ones. Some of the lesson topics are the same, but more gospel oriented (no more "I am Thankful for Fish.") The lessons are also a little shorter, more user friendly and age appropriate, with the photographs and pictures right in the book instead of loose, and some new/updated lesson activities. Nice timing. Katy, you're off the hook.

Last night Ed and I were set apart, which is a blessing from someone in the bishopric in which you receive specific instructions/blessings/abilities pertinent to your calling. It was a remarkably spiritual experience that quelled any remaining reservations I was feeling.

In fact, there are only upsides, my setting apart blessing having addressed the perceived downside of getting burned out on kids. A few that Ed and I came up with are:

• We get to serve together, something we've never gotten to do and may not get to do again for a long time. After the New York famine of barely seeing each other, even on Sunday because of callings or Ed's job, we get to be and work together, and even better, be together as a whole family.
• Hello, there's snack.
• It's a Sunday calling. That means no extra work during the week like meetings, activities, phone calls, etc. A little preparation in the way of lessons or activities, or occasionally finding a sub may be required, but it's not a big deal.
• Suddenly the pressure's off to dress nicely for church. I mean, yeah, still dress up, but I'll be pulling the denim skirt back out, and Ed will be wearing trousers but not his nice suits.
• Everyone shares the work. We will be in charge of the lesson every 4 weeks but even then there are two of us to do it. Everyone else in nursery is totally competent and willing to do their share.
• There is something amazing about little kids - yes, there's some crying, some fighting, and developmental stuff like that. But they are super innocent and trusting, and remarkably spiritual as well. It's really an honor to spend the time with them and be trusted with their care and instruction.

So you see, Lindsay (our nursery leader in New York), what goes around comes around. We'll be on the floor and isolated from our new ward for the next year or so. I hope you have gotten out in the real world or will soon. It's a good place for us - one I didn't expect to be in or be happy about, but what do I know? I've never even made a jello salad.

First FHE

Last night we had our first real Family Home Evening. The girls are getting old enough, we decided, and our lives are getting normal enough, that it's time to institute weekly FHE. We gave it a shot last night. Of course when you make efforts to do something right, forces combine to thwart those efforts. Ed got some sudden work late in the day and so didn't come home until about 8pm. The girls were wired from fatigue and Daddy's arrival, and didn't want to sit on the couch or do anything else except whine and flop around. Ginger moaned in protest through Hazel's prayer, and bit my leg before it was over, thus securing herself an immediate time-out-turned-early-bedtime. Hazel insisted on "fishing" with her toy dog-on-a-leash during the songs, and threw a fist-pounding-back-arching fit when it was taken away. Even I, usually a model of emotional control, ended up throwing a few things angrily and marching into another room to collect myself. What would we do without even-tempered Ed?

But the 15 minutes it lasted had its shining moments. Hazel has created a rote prayer she likes to say at every opportunity: "Dear Heavenly Father, we thank Thee for this food and this lunch and this prayer. And don't forget my best friend Kaleigh. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." As expected, this was also her opening prayer for Family Home Evening last night. We took this first FHE to talk about prayer, to explain that you say different things in your prayers depending on the setting and circumstances, and you should always think about what you want to say before praying. Just as we were losing their attention, Ed pulled out the September Friend (the LDS magazine for kids) and said, "Now we're going to read a story about a girl who was too scared to go to sleep."

Ginger immediately climbed up onto his lap and Hazel snuggled up to him with sudden and intense interest. It was about a little girl who was scared of the noise a branch made against her window. Her father came to comfort her and suggested she could pray to feel better. So they prayed together that she wouldn't be afraid anymore, and she was able to go to sleep. I wanted badly to take a picture of the three of them reading the story, but my camera was upstairs and I didn't want to leave. Hazel loved it, and it bought us one more quick chance to testify that you can pray to Heavenly Father for help with anything, and not just at meals and bedtime. Then we sang a couple of songs, read a bedtime story, and had a closing prayer. By this time Ginger was in time-out-bed, but Hazel got a muffin for dessert, and my angel husband put her to bed and did the dishes while I recovered from my own outburst.

Overall it was a success but I do hope it will get easier.

The Well-Oiled Machine

*For those readers unfamiliar with the structure and beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, click on some links to understand this post better. It's a great church, you should check it out. I know a couple of missionaries who would be happy to tell you about it.

Our first Sunday in Falls Church ward would, I knew, be quite different from our cozy little ward in New York. Bigger is the main thing, much bigger. Sure enough, 5 minutes early and the only seats are on the folding chairs in the overflow section. Ready to jump in full throttle, I leaned over to the couple next to us. "Hi," I said. "We're new." "So are we," they answered. "It's our first week here." And we're off to a good - and representative - start! We didn't catch much of the meeting, this being our first time managing two kids through 1 o'clock sacrament meeting, which is usually nap time. At the end of the meeting, the Bishop announced there would be an orientation meeting upstairs in his office for anyone new this week. How lucky, I thought, that we were here the week they were doing that!

We hustled upstairs for the meeting, complete with several new people/families. They gave us some membership forms to fill out (previous ward, languages spoken, family members, former callings, etc.) and most of the ward leaders were there to meet us. We were also given a few handouts - the Falls Church Ward Mission Statement, instructions on creating a family mission statement, instructions on registering with the ward website and email list, and the contact info of the Welcoming Committee chairperson. In talking with the Relief Society President, Sue, it became evident that the orientation meeting is a weekly occurrence, necessary due to enormous levels of turnover, especially in the summer. "We're big," she said, "but we're lovable!" "Big" is not kidding - 790 members on record, to be exact (a typical ward is about 200 to 400.) Everyone warned us not to expect a calling any time soon - "there just aren't enough to go around." (OK by me...)

During the orientation meeting a friendly woman came to meet me and explained she is the Fellowshipping Counselor in the RS. "What?" Last I checked there are 2 counselors, over Education and Enrichment. "Yeah," she said, "our ward is so big we have 3 RS counselors and 2 secretaries, and a Fellowshipping Committee" (in addition to and separate from the Ward Welcoming Committee.) I think my jaw dropped. I thought back to sweet little Bensonhurst Ward, struggling just to fill basic leadership and teaching callings. And here they have two big committees just for welcoming and fellowshipping? Three weeks later I was called to serve on said committee, my first committee calling ever.

After the meeting we were whisked outside for a digital family photo (by the ward photographer) to go on the ward website member directory. I've never been in a ward even remotely so organized. But, hey, they've got the manpower.

Next it was off to take the girls to Nursery. Instead of one room, Nursery is half of a dead-end hallway consisting of four rooms. They block off the hallway with a rolling cabinet so no kids can get out - or parents get in -, and you drop them off and pick them up at the cabinet (always manned by a nursery worker, of which there are plenty!) I walked up to the woman at the cabinet and said, "Is this Nursery check-in?"
"Yep," she said curtly.
"Well we've got two more for you!" I tried to look friendly and hoped my girls looked nice too.
She looked us over. "Lovely," she said tartly but not entirely unfriendly. "Are you here to stay or just visiting?" (Translation: Are your girls worthy of a permanent marker clip-on name tag being made for them to use each week, or just a sticker one?) This was when the internal breakdown started for me. Where's our small nursery class with our beloved friends and teachers? Where's Lindsay, and Kaleigh, and Bruce? There looks to be hundreds of kids running around in there, and to this woman mine are just two more!

We qualified for the permanent name tags, clipped them on their backs, and dropped them off. I asked her the crying rule, this being Ginger's first time, and she said, "We have a high tolerance for crying. We give them at least 20 minutes and if no amount of comforting or distraction works then we come find you. You don't need to come check on them." I can totally respect that, and walked off happy.

With all that going on we basically missed Sunday School (the 2nd hour) and so I went to Relief Society, which meets in the chapel, the only room big enough to hold us. More of the well-oiled machineness happening there. Weekly RS flyers with the birthdays, calendar items, Visiting Teaching message, Primary theme, this and next week's lesson, today's hymns, Presidency contact info, and all the Enrichment groups and when they meet. My head was spinning. I met a few more people before the meeting started.

As part of the announcements before the lesson, they asked anyone new and visiting to stand up and introduce themselves. This is pretty common. Then they asked anyone whose last week it was to also stand up and let us know. Several did, and continue to every week.

Why such a big ward and so much transition? That also soon became evident, after every new conversation went the same way:

"Hi - are you with the State Department?" (Translation: So many families in the foreign service come here for a few months of training between assignments that I want to know if you are one of them.)

"No."

"Oh." (Translation: If I'm in the foreign service and you're not, then we can be chatty but we won't be together long so we won't try to be too good of friends. If I'm NOT in the foreign service but a more permanent resident here, then you have just passed the first test for me to get to know you better, like learning your name.)

"How long are you here for?" (Translation: Now that I know you're not State Department, I need to find out if you are otherwise only here temporarily, like on an internship, short-term rental or other situation.)

"Indefinitely."

"Wow, great! Where do you live?" (Translation: Our geographical ward boundaries are a little strange and stretched out. I need to know if you live close enough to me - Falls Church "side" or Arlington "side" - for me to consider getting to know you better. Especially since there are fierce rumors about that ward boundaries will be adjusted soon within the stake and we may or may not end up in the same ward.)

And it goes on from there. If I passed all the filters then I got to know some people, while others dropped out along the way. Interesting, practical, and a little sad.

But I think we've had a slight advantage over other new move-ins. First of all, we know the Gores from Colorado, who are in Arlington Ward but live close to us. John's aunt & uncle are in our ward and had been warned to watch for us, so we met them right away. Also Jordan & Sara Andrews who we also knew in Colorado were in our ward until this week or next week when they move to a house in another ward. They were great our first few weeks, introducing us to people. Then there's Anne Sorenson and Donna (Tonini) Budway from Fairfax Ward where I grew up. Also I spent an entire RS meeting staring at the teacher, trying to figure out where I knew her from. When I talked to her later we figured out we lived in the same dorm our BYU freshman year. Many other faces look vaguely familiar and I'm slowly working my way through them - it's an easy conversation starter to say, "Hey, you look familiar..." Also we've made a great connection with Jeff and Rebecca Yeates, who both grew up in Oakton Stake and shopped at the Mormon bookstore my grandparents used to own. Jeff also knew my brother-in-law Quinn at college and Jeff's sister married a good Younce family friend, Brian Nanto. They also live on the "Arlington side" and have a 4-year-0ld daughter so we can be friends.

I've been meaning to write this post since my first shocking week in the ward, it being a truly well-oiled, amazingly highly functional ward. But it was such a long, detailed post I kept putting it off. Then last week a member of the Stake Presidency came to our sacrament meeting to announce that, true to the rumor, the wards are going to be reorganized. Falls Church and Arlington wards have the highest membership populations, over 700 each, while another ward (I think there are 6 or 7 total) has less than 300. He said that every ward in the stake, except the Spanish and singles wards which are stake-wide, will have geographical boundary changes, plus there will be a new ward formed.

I was totally excited for the news. First, I've never been part of a reorganization like this so I'm curious how it works out. Second, I'm thrilled to be in a smaller, more manageable sized ward. Third, I get all the excitement and none of the sadness that comes with a change like this. I haven't really made any close friends so I don't care who is or isn't in my ward. Fourth, I will either actually have something to do in my calling, working to welcome/meet new members, or else if I'm in a new ward I have a shot at a more interesting calling - either way, it's exciting. This Sunday, August 3, there will be a 6pm fireside at the stake center to explain the new boundaries, followed by a meeting of the Bishops and clerks to sort out the membership. Then August 10 the new wards will meet. The fireside is expected to be quite popular, so they said to carpool, come early, and only send one family member if possible. I begged Ed to stay home with the girls so I can go, and also graciously volunteered him to watch Sarah Yeates so I can carpool with Rebecca.

So, with August 3 approaching (also our 7th wedding anniversary and Ed's half-birthday), I figured I had to record the amazing experience orienting into this massive Falls Church Ward has been. It is, and I'm sure it will continue to be, a well-oiled machine.

Things I'll Miss #8: Bensonhurst Ward and Playgroup

When we first turned from under the D Train into the Bensonhurst chapel parking lot we knew it was something special. Leaving our ward is the saddest part of leaving New York for me. Bensonhurst is truly a ward family and we are pained as if really leaving our brothers and sisters. I've never felt so immediately and continually comfortable in a ward before and I contribute that to the undivided unity present, probably made possible by the small size and vast diversity among members. There are many converts, which also brings a refreshing approach to meetings and interesting variety to talks and testimony meetings. The ward exudes love and acceptance and I loved being part of it, and will miss that as we enter a larger and probably more "traditional" ward.My first calling was Relief Society secretary for a few months, then Primary president for a year. Then Ginger was born and I had a few months off, then was called as the Valiant teacher (8 to 11 year olds) and have been with them until this last week. So most of my time in the ward has been in the primary and I have completely loved it. Our second week in the ward the Soletas invited us to a birthday party for their then-6-year-old Shelly. Now Shelly is only a few weeks shy of nine years old, practically all grown up (far left in the picture), and she is just one of about 20 kids I have watched change and grow for three years. Here's a picture taken of my class this last Sunday. I'll miss them terribly. We've had a lot of fun and they know not to mess with me.
Just over a year ago the moms of young kids in the ward started getting together for a weekly playgroup. We met at various parks in good weather, and at each others' houses in the winter. At church it can be hard to socialize, busy rushing off to classes or controlling your kids or running to catch the bus home. Playgroup provided a needed outlet - a way for us to get to know each other, talk about adult (and yes, sometimes kid) things, and provide and receive support in this crazy life of New York motherhood. And oh yeah, the kids liked it too. Last week at playgroup my friends presented me with a shutterfly book of pictures taken at playgroup, signed by all the moms like a yearbook. It meant more to me than I can say. I don't want to leave my friends and I really don't want Hazel to leave her friends - they're a tight group. We have solicited as many to come visit us as possible and I hope they come through. But in the meantime we will sorely miss our friends.

The Mighty iPod

I've been loving my Valentine's Day ipod so much that we got Ed a nano for Father's Day. Give him something to listen to on his commute - expose him to some good music that's not a movie soundtrack (he is so musically deprived it's amazing we ever hooked up), maybe some audio books. Before packing up the computer I loaded him up with some good stuff including the most recent session of General Conference, downloaded from the Church website. I saw you can subscribe to Conference as a podcast, and it occurred to me I have never looked into podcasts. So I took a gander - you know, important stuff to do before moving day - and poked around the podcast directory. There's certainly more than I can ever look through, much less listen to, so I appeal to those more experienced. What podcasts do you like and why?

Someday I may even figure out movies and audio books.

An Inspired Giveaway

Last weekend I taught a jewelry-making workshop thanks to a $15 class I took at Michael's a few years ago and an enormous bin of beading supplies I needed to pare down before the move. Creative juices flowed and we all ended up with some nice pieces, admiring them on each other at church the next day. Lindsay made 3 lovely pairs of earrings and, with virgin lobes herself, is hosting an earring giveaway on her blog, so get over there before Friday and join the fun!

It's true, blog giveaways are oh-too-fun, so it's gotten me thinking...we'll see what I come up with.

Happy Mother's Day

Me and my Mom

Me and my girls

First of all on this Mother's Day, I'd like to give kudos to my ward, who handled it in one of the most tasteful ways I've ever seen. The sacrament meeting talks were not sappy - 2 out of 3 did apply to families and mothers but were based on General Conference talks and very appropriate and enjoyable (good job, Lindsay!) In addition, women over 18 were NOT asked to stand at the end of the meeting to receive some "token of appreciation" like a flower or plant. I think it was due mostly to lack of organization, but I'm not complaining. No woman I know likes this tradition, though it seems fairly common among Mormon congregations. I would consider chocolate a better token, but even so. From my experience, it embarrasses women who do not have children, and women who do have children need appreciation from them and their husbands, not the ward. During Primary sharing time, a woman from the Relief Society presidency snuck in the back and discreetly pinned a simple silk flower corsage on each of us. I thought it was nice of them to remember us. The only other better thing I've heard of wards doing on Mother's Day is rallying the Young Men or other men's group to take over Primary and nursery for the third hour so all the women can go to Relief Society. That would have been nice, but our ward is not quite that organized.

Continuing on the Mother's Day topic, my favorite GPT site is having a Mother's Day contest. They gave 10 questions to answer and will pick a winner for each question. Winners receive $150 Spa Finder gift certificates. I found some of the questions hard to answer, some easy. Here are my answers, and while I'm not asking all of you to answer all 10 questions - it takes a long time and I thought I was done with writing essays! - I'd love to hear from you on any of them that strike you.

1. What is the most embarrassing thing your child has ever done? When I was pregnant with my #2, my toddler often came with me to my OB check-up appointments, where they checked my blood pressure, the baby’s hearbeat, etc. Throughout the pregnancy I tried to explain to her the process of how the baby was growing and when she was ready, we would go to the hospital and the doctor would help the baby come out. She obviously made some extensions by toddler logic to this information and told everybody for months, including my husband, the doctor, the grocery clerk, etc., “The doctor put the baby in Mommy’s tummy.”

2. What is the best gift you have ever received from your child?

(I just copied this blog entry.)

3. What was your favorite moment with your child(ren)? Every hug and every I love you, I can’t pick just one.

4. What was the most important life lesson your own mother taught you? My mother fostered great emotional health in me and my sisters by teaching us to avoid unnecessary guilt. Not that guilt doesn’t have a place - sometimes it is necessary to right wrongs, learn lessons, and strengthen yourself – but to avoid the prohibitive guilt we as women sometimes lay on ourselves and each other.

5. What is the biggest sacrifice you have ever made for your children? Literally years of sleepless nights, starting from ½ way through the first pregnancy until my 2^nd child was about 10 months old. That’s a lot of missed sleep.

2^nd biggest sacrifice – The prep, experience, and recovery of two C-section births.

6. Of all the meals you have ever made, what was the least accepted meal by your family? Hamburgers and oven French fries, can you believe it? I was stoked making such a kid-friendly meal, “Wow, I’m such an awesome Mom.” But all I got were whines and whimpers, and a bunch of cold food.

7. When is the one time your child made you laugh the hardest? Her very first true laugh, when she was about 3 months old – we were in the car and I did some goofy face or sound that made her laugh, and when I heard that first ACTUAL, REAL laugh come from deep in her belly, a combination of pride, glee, amazement and love brimmed up and I couldn’t stop laughing with her the whole way home.

8. Of all the important lessons you've taught your children, what is the most important lesson you hope they carry on through life? That they are smart and strong and deeply loved by their parents and God.

9. At what moment in your life did it dawn on you that you are no longer living for yourself, but living for your kids? The first desperately sleep-deprived night home with a new baby, and every day since then. But there are times when something happens to make me re-realize it, like when a group of people are talking about movies in the theater and I’ve never heard of any of them, or when I look at my faded, stained wardrobe and can’t remember the last time I bought clothes for myself…and realize I don’t mind.

But lately I’m taking a new approach to motherhood, which is “When Mom is Taken Care of, Everyone Else is Better Taken Care of.” I’m not giving all the good blueberries to the kids anymore, but keeping a share for myself, too. I get a pampering haircut once in awhile, and sometimes we get together with my friends, and not just my kids’ friends. I’m still living for the kids 100%, but keeping in mind that part of that is treating their Mom right.

10. Name a time when you found yourself guilty of doing something that always bothered you when your own Mother did it. “Just a minute” followed by many, many minutes and sometimes never coming or forgetting what the kid wanted. Granted, I do it while I’m on the computer and my mom did it while doing something else, but the wrong is still the same.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

May I Direct Your Attention - New YW Leader Blog

My sister Tona was recently called to serve in the Young Women's organization in her (LDS) ward, for the first time in her 17 years since leaving YW herself. Totally eager to make it real, she began searching for online forums, blogs or groups of other LDS YW leaders to discuss lessons and timely issues in ministering to young women...and found none. She inquired of several other resources, and no one knew of anything, so she started one herself.

Beginnings New is "the place for LDS young women's leaders who want more than clip art and cute. Substantive, positive, caring, smart... that's us. So join the conversation." This is certainly a place for any YW leader to check in and weigh in, but I've enjoyed reading the posts and comments, and leaving my own, even though I work in Primary. I've got two daughters and by the time they are teenagers I am sure to be completely out of touch, so it's nice to check in and see what's going on with young women these days. Check it out.

President Faust Will Be Missed

In case you haven't heard, President Faust of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints passed away this morning. His was always one of my favorite talks at General Conference, and any other chance I got to learn from him. I always felt I could relate to his stories, and appreciated the humility and humor with which he told them. He seemed to understand how human we all are, and yet how important and divine as well. I never met him in person but look forward to it eventually. I will miss him.

Service or Sucker?

On Saturday Ed helped a family in our ward move - a middle-aged couple moving from an apartment they'd been in for 10 years to another apartment within the ward boundaries. Our family already had plans for the day, but we made some modifications to accommodate this act of service. Yes, today we are going to discuss "The Elders Quorum Move."

The plan was:
8:00-10 am Ed would help with the move, then come home and we would go to the ward primary activity at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden as a family.
1:00-3 pm We would come home and put the girls down for naps; he would return to help the move finish (supposedly the truck had to be returned by 3.)
3:30 pm He would come home to watch the girls while I went grocery shopping and stopped by our storage unit to pick up the air conditioner and some other things. (Saturday is the only day I can do the grocery shopping without the kids, so by Friday night we were out of EVERYTHING.)
5:00ish pm We would have dinner as a family and then...
6:30ish pm Head over to the evening session of stake conference, which for the first time was offering childcare, so I was really looking forward to the meeting.

What happened was:
8:00 am Ed left to help with the move.
10:00 am He called to tell me the family had a ton of stuff, the truck would have to make two trips, some stuff still wasn't packed, and much of the work force was taking off soon. The work force consisted of the already-spread-thin few guys from the Elders' Quorum who had been nice enough to volunteer.
12:00 pm Ed called to tell me the first truckload was at the new place being unloaded; he had stayed behind with a few guys to try to help get the rest of the packing done.
3:00 pm He called to tell me he was in our car, following the second truckload over to the new place. Barely containing my frustration, I asked if he'd eaten anything and he said no (= they hadn't provided food!) He was going to swing by Wendy's on his way and buy himself lunch. Only he and two other guys were left helping.
5:00-7 pm Nearing a boiling point, I called him several times between to check on his status, but later learned he had left the phone in the car. I even tracked down the cell phone # of the woman being moved, but she didn't answer. I found out later that the man being moved had thrown out his back and/or become too tired to keep helping. He had set up the TV at the new place and was hanging out on the couch watching TV while his wife and the three volunteers kept moving his stuff up two flights of stairs so he wouldn't be charged too much in late fees for the truck.
7:00 pm I reached Ed on his cell phone. He was on the way home, after 11 hours of thankless manual labor and an entire precious Saturday missed with his family. He was going to drop off the other two guys and be home soon.
8:00 pm I called him again to find out what was taking so long and of course he had spent the last half hour looking for a parking space, as happens in the evening around our place. He finally found a spot and...
8:30 pm Came home. We had a late family dinner and he helped put Hazel to bed. Ginger was already asleep. He took a shower and crashed, tired and sore.
9:30 pm I walked to the grocery store with a backpack (no point in driving - wouldn't find parking upon return) and bought the essentials we would need for the next few days, as much as I could carry.

I started the day feeling charitable and magnanimous, compromising our family's plans in the service of others. But sometime in the afternoon that feeling started to shift towards resentment. As the day wore on, the negative feelings escalated until I was incredibly angry at all the things our family had given up that day - the outing to the gardens, the errands we only have one day to do, family time together, and stake conference. I had to call my brother twice to vent.

Everyone knows how The Elders Quorum Move goes. People aren't packed, aren't organized, haven't gotten a big enough truck or enough help, underestimate how long it will take, etc. I myself have been moved by a ward group more than once and I really appreciate that help (at least I fed them pizza!) Ed has moved way more people than times he will ever move, that's for sure. I don't know how or when TEQM became tradition but it seems to have evolved into something some Church members feel entitled to, like a service the Church promises to provide. In large wards with lots of manpower (including youth) and few moves it's no problem, and can even be a unifying ward effort. But our ward is small, human resources are extremely limited, there are lots of moves in, out and within, and there are a lot of people with a lot of needs. A few people end up doing a lot of work, over and over. As I was juggling two kiddos Saturday afternoon, like I do five other days of the week, with an eye single to the relief of having Ed around on the weekend, I started to consider if we can put some kind of limit on EQM's, like the ward will provide 2 hours of moving service, but then you're on your own or something like that. I told this to Ed and of course he questioned whether it still counts as Christlike service if you put stipulations like that. Dave made a good point, that people outside of the Church move all the time without free labor, even on a limited budget. If they can do it, why can't we?

I know many, many of you reading have had personal experiences with TEQM. I'd like to hear from you - what's your view on the phenomenon? Am I justified in my feelings or do I need an attitude adjustment? How can the service continue without it being taken advantage of, or can it? Since it's not an official Church program, can a ward or EQ put limitations on the service, or even at times refuse to do it? How do you deal with TEQM when you're asked to participate? I'd like Dave to tell his take, if he's willing. And the rest of you, especially those I know are reading but don't usually comment, chime in (Kristina...). TEQM affects whole families, not just Elders - does it affect you for good or bad?