Neighborhood Part I: Bay Ridge

One post I never got done for my May/June "Things I'll Miss" series was about my neighborhood in Brooklyn, Bay Ridge. It had a charm and familiarity that, after three years, was hard to bid farewell. The girls and I were out on the streets with the stroller almost every day, going to friends' houses, libraries, parks, shopping, music class or other errands, all within walking distance. The buildings, houses, and shops made up our 30-by-7 block home outside of home. Third and Fifth Avenues had all the main shopping and restaurants; the cross streets and other avenues were mainly residential. While it was sometimes a hassle to walk everywhere, I do miss the accessibility and closeness of that great community.

Ed commuted on an express bus that picked up literally outside our door, and cut at least 20 minutes off his otherwise subway commute. One of our favorite things about Bay Ridge was the waterfront walkway that stretched from the Verrazano Bridge to the 68th Street Pier, and which they renovated shortly after we moved there. We always lived close to the shore and could hop over there for a stroll along the water whenever we wanted, as long as we were willing to tolerate all the fishermen and the disgusting messes they made, and left, on the asphalt.

Bay Ridge was the perfect place to live in Brooklyn. It was made up of a mix of elderly and long-time residents, young professionals, and young families that had just outgrown their tiny Park Slope apartments with their second child. There were also many Greek, Italian and Middle Eastern residents. It was safe, people were friendly (for New Yorkers), and (for New York) it was a lovely place to live. I had so many favorite places; I took my camera out a few times to take pictures but didn't get as many as I wanted. Here are a few:

Things I'll Miss #8: Bensonhurst Ward and Playgroup

When we first turned from under the D Train into the Bensonhurst chapel parking lot we knew it was something special. Leaving our ward is the saddest part of leaving New York for me. Bensonhurst is truly a ward family and we are pained as if really leaving our brothers and sisters. I've never felt so immediately and continually comfortable in a ward before and I contribute that to the undivided unity present, probably made possible by the small size and vast diversity among members. There are many converts, which also brings a refreshing approach to meetings and interesting variety to talks and testimony meetings. The ward exudes love and acceptance and I loved being part of it, and will miss that as we enter a larger and probably more "traditional" ward.My first calling was Relief Society secretary for a few months, then Primary president for a year. Then Ginger was born and I had a few months off, then was called as the Valiant teacher (8 to 11 year olds) and have been with them until this last week. So most of my time in the ward has been in the primary and I have completely loved it. Our second week in the ward the Soletas invited us to a birthday party for their then-6-year-old Shelly. Now Shelly is only a few weeks shy of nine years old, practically all grown up (far left in the picture), and she is just one of about 20 kids I have watched change and grow for three years. Here's a picture taken of my class this last Sunday. I'll miss them terribly. We've had a lot of fun and they know not to mess with me.
Just over a year ago the moms of young kids in the ward started getting together for a weekly playgroup. We met at various parks in good weather, and at each others' houses in the winter. At church it can be hard to socialize, busy rushing off to classes or controlling your kids or running to catch the bus home. Playgroup provided a needed outlet - a way for us to get to know each other, talk about adult (and yes, sometimes kid) things, and provide and receive support in this crazy life of New York motherhood. And oh yeah, the kids liked it too. Last week at playgroup my friends presented me with a shutterfly book of pictures taken at playgroup, signed by all the moms like a yearbook. It meant more to me than I can say. I don't want to leave my friends and I really don't want Hazel to leave her friends - they're a tight group. We have solicited as many to come visit us as possible and I hope they come through. But in the meantime we will sorely miss our friends.

Things I'll Miss #7: Music Together

We've taken 6 or 7 sessions of Music Together over our time here, first when Hazel was 6 months old and most recently ending this week. It's a lovely program - we like the music, the teachers, the philosophy and the approach. We've taken the same time slot with the same other moms and kids and the same teacher John for 3 or 4 sessions in a row now, and we will miss that Thursday beacon in our otherwise unscheduled lives.

Eye Candy

Talented Brooklyn artist friend Kristin, mom to wild man Pierson who looks like he is Ginger & Hazel's brother, wife to fellow student of linguistics Mike, and one of the coolest people I know, has an art blog and new Etsy shop. Check them out!

Things I'll Miss #5: Favorite Shops

I've come to have a few favorite specialty shops here, and just like I didn't know how I would live without Mountain Man chocolate-covered pretzels and Good Times frozen custard when we left Colorado, I will sorely miss these few treasures I've found in New York.

1. A&D Turkish Market on 5th at 80th St (Brooklyn)- I came here the first time with my friend Nayat, who is French-Algerian and loves the lamb sausage they make at the butcher counter in the back.I pass on the sausage but all these bulk barrels of nuts, grains and spices enticed me - bought lentils, bulgur, cherry juice, smoked almonds, sesame candy, fava beans and more over the years. But the main reason I go back? Those smoked almonds, I cannot get enough of them.

2. Mideast Bakery on 3rd and 78th St (Brooklyn) - Cosmic pita. The store front is about 1/3 the size of the huge bakery in the back where they make their own pita and other middle eastern breads and sweets, and whole wheat on Wednesdays. Once they closed for two weeks because their daughter was getting married. I was there their first day back and people were lining up outside before they opened, suffering from withdrawals. We usually stop by on our way home from storytime at the library because otherwise it's out of the way. But we have been known to make a special trip. The pita is amazing plain, with brie cheese, butter & jelly, chicken salad, hummus, or anything.

3. East Village Cheese on 3rd and E 10th St (Manhattan) - Admittedly I've only gone a few times because it's not in my neighborhood but I make a point to stop in whenever I'm close to it - amazing selection and astounding prices. A wheel of brie for $1.99! I try something new everytime - my favorite was walnut gouda, eaten with the cosmic pita mentioned above.

4. H&D Bagels on 3rd at 88th St (Brooklyn) - Early on I joined a neighborhood parents' yahoo group and asked where the best bagels can be got. The majority pointed me to H&D, which, like most of the best kept secrets in a big city, is nothing special from the outside. Or inside for that matter. A typical bagel deli, but the bagels are fabulous - my preference is an Everything with cream cheese and a half dozen mini plains for the kids.

5. Little Cupcake on 3rd at 91st St (Brooklyn) - I've mentioned this shop a few times and it really is something fun and special...and happens to be on our post-music-class route. We walk one block to the grocery store for a few essentials, cross the street and get a cupcake or lemonade, then walk home and eat the cupcake after lunch, split three ways, or only two if Ginger is asleep and she'll never know what she missed.

6. Intimacy on Madison Ave (Manhattan) - The best of the best in professional bra fitting. After 4 years of pregnancy, nursing, another pregnancy and more nursing, nothing fits like it used to, and bras are at the top of the list. What a treat to get personally and professionally fitted, no tape measures involved. Bummer there' s not one in DC. Maybe I'll be back.

7. Cavale Tonuzi on 3rd at 83rd St (Brooklyn) - I got my hair cut here a few times and was underwhelmed and overcharged but on staff they have a woman named Lucky who is a full-time eyebrow threader. God bless Therese (Sister Anderson), who on my mission taught me how to pluck my overgrown eyebrows. Then I waxed for awhile, but now I know threading is the only way to go. Lucky is a whiz with her twisted strands of floss, and I always leave feeling like a movie star. Northern Virginia has a large Asian population so I have high hopes of finding a place with someone equally skilled.

Things I'll Miss #3: Brooklyn Botanic Garden

I've only gone a handful of times in our three years here, but the Brooklyn Botanic Garden is a peaceful haven in the middle of chaotic downtown Brooklyn (and I always seem to park on the scary side.) Cherry blossoms start the warm season off with fluffy pink euphoria, followed by tulips, roses, lilacs and more. Plus it has a little kids garden area to play in. I know DC has cherry blossoms and a garden, but I will miss this special spot in Brooklyn.

Things I Won't Miss #1: Parking Hassles

We've been over the parking issues here but that doesn't mean they've gone away. Parking continues to dictate where we go and when and I'm looking forward to a little freedom from that. It will be nice to at least have the option to drive somewhere after 4pm, or to go to the post office, library, or doctor's office and not drive around for 30 minutes looking for a parking spot. Not to mention the state our bumper is in after 3 years of parallel parking (though we've gotten good at it). Or the panic when we wake up and think, "What day is it? Where's the car?" Or the letdown of finally finding a meter spot only to discover you're out of quarters. No, the parking hassles are something I won't miss.

Halloween in Brooklyn

I wasn't even sure I wanted to take the girls trick-or-treating. I mean, they're still very young and wouldn't know the difference. Ed wouldn't be home to make it a real family activity. Our beloved trick-or-treating friend Violet moved to Connecticut a mere 1.5 weeks ago (sniff, sniff.)

Hazel (ladybug) and Violet (bee) trick-or-treating last year:


I thought we could just let Halloween pass by this year and it wouldn't matter. But in the end I couldn't resist. We had to go out to get milk anyway. I had gotten Hazel a costume anyway. We all like candy anyway.

Ginger had a costume, too - the same one Hazel wore two years ago. It was super cute and she wore it to the church Halloween party last weekend, but for trick-or-treating I just bundled her up in regular clothes for her ride in the stroller.

Ginger in 2007 (left) and Hazel in 2005 (right):


Hazel was Little Red Riding Hood this year. We walked out of our building about 5pm tonight and before we'd even gotten to the corner, before we'd knocked on one door, a sweet old lady walking by stopped us and, nearly in tears at how cute Hazel was, made us wait while she rummaged in her bags for her wallet and put $1 in Hazel's basket.We made our way up four blocks to 3rd Avenue where the shops are, stopping at houses with decorations or lights on and collecting quite a load of sugar along the way. Hazel climbed into the stroller while we ducked into the grocery store, and when we came out I saw that groups of kids & parents were stopping in at the shops, trick-or-treating. So we joined in, getting a treat at each little place that we walk by every day. I thought it was a rather unique and enjoyable way to trick-or-treat with the community.

At the nail salon:And at the Italian bakery. They handed out paper-wrapped cookies. After that Hazel just wanted to get in the stroller and eat her cookie, so that was the sweet end of trick-or-treating this year.
After dinner I let Hazel choose one candy out of her basket, and being a smart girl and my daughter, she chose a Hershey bar with almonds. Ah, Halloween. How did you spend it?

Daily Disaster

Just in case you thought I was kidding about the never a dull moment thing, here's an article on the storm that hit early this morning, and here's a quote from it:

"A heavy storm with tornado-like winds ripped the roofs off several houses in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn, damaging several houses and downing a number of trees."
Makes you want to move here, right? I'll switch with you!

Never (ever) a Dull Moment

This morning was drizzly so instead of the park I decided to load the girls in the car and make the trek to Target, a 20 minute drive on a good day (1 hr plus on a bad one). The trip was great, we got everything on our list (and oh so much more.) It was also a chance to try out the new backpack carrier we got for Ginger - she loves it in there where she can supervise, pull my hair, and fall asleep, all of which she did.

As we came home I rounded the bend to find my whole block blocked off by about ten fire trucks and ambulances, a fire ladder up to the roof of my building, reporters and groups of people all around.
Interesting.
I parked across the street, loaded a sleeping Hazel into the stroller and Ginger in the backpack, and came over to a group of people I recognized as co-tenants, to find out what the deal was, small pit forming on the extremely unlikely chance my apartment was the source (or victim, as it may be.)

Turns out the old man from the 5th floor who sits in his lawn chair on the street corner every day, smoking a big ol' stogie, decided to do the same inside because of the rain. Rumor has it he fell asleep smoking, and that was that. Luckily people smelled smoke, called 911 and evacuated, and the fire damage was mostly contained to his apartment. Consequent smoke and water damage, however, will affect several others.

We weren't allowed back inside yet, so I stood around with my neighbors waiting for news and glad Hazel was sleeping and the drizzle had let up. After 20 minutes or so we could go in, but not the 5th or 6th floors as they were still clearing out smoke. A man from my floor, Frank, came over to tell me I was going to need locksmith services. They had gone around knocking on doors to get people out. When no one answered at mine, they busted in with a sledgehammer to make sure no one was home. I thanked him profusely for being so thorough - I have no problem dealing with a broken lock and door, considering the alternatives.

I went in and hung out at a friend's apartment for another 20-3o minutes until I could go up to the 6th floor. Hazel finally woke up, having missed all the lights, ladders, firemen and excitement, but surprised to be in an apartment she'd never seen before. When we came up to our floor, there was glass everywhere because they had broken the hall windows to let smoke out. Frank was up there, and helped me carry the girls and then the stroller over the glass and into our place. The door was definitely bent out of shape, and there was a thin haze and smell of smoke, but we opened all the windows and started to air things out.

The building insurance appraiser came by a little while ago to take pictures of the door - she said they'll get me some kind of temporary lock (update: ghetto padlock) and then have the door and maybe frame replaced.

I saw a reporter and photographer at the scene so if there's a news article anywhere about it later I'll post a link. I don't know what I'll do for blog material when I leave New York. I may have to close it out! I don't make this stuff up, there's always plenty that just happens.

A Week in Our Life

Sometimes I wonder what I do everyday - I can't even remember from one day to the next. But I know I'm busy. And I know I'm tired. I know I'm constantly multi-tasking. And I know we don't see Ed much. Especially lately; the last few weeks have really been some of the most busy he's had in our two years here. So in case anyone else was wondering what life is like for us (and in case anyone else was considering a career in investment banking and needs dissuading), here's a week of it:

Saturday, June 16
I threw a baby shower for my friend Kirsten at our place. I started the preparations when I got up around 7, juggling the girls with Ed's help. At 10 the guests started arriving. Ed took Hazel to their last Gymboree class, and then to the park to play during the shower. Ginger stayed with me. The shower was super fun but of course had to end. Ed brought Hazel home around 12:30, had some lunch, and headed to work about 2pm. Worked until 2:30am. (Yes, you read that right. It was SATURDAY.)

Sunday, June 17
Whenever Ed has to work on a Sunday he usually comes to church with us (10-1), then heads in after church around 2pm, and works until whenever. But this being Father's Day we wanted some time with him as a family so we decided to send him in early, in the hopes of seeing him for dinner and some family time before the girls went to bed. That meant me taking the girls to church by myself for the first time. At 9:30am the girls and I left for church; Ed left just after. I spent sacrament meeting in and out with one or the other girl most of the time. Then my friend Nayat took Hazel to nursery and came back to take Ginger during Sunday School while I taught my primary class. After Sunday School she brought me Ginger to nurse, then I brought her back to Nayat in Relief Society and went to Primary. About halfway through she brought Ginger to me, crying, so I held her and tried to get her to sleep. After church someone brought Hazel to me, and both girls fell asleep on the way home. I parked about a block away, loaded Ginger's car seat and all our bags in the stroller, heisted Hazel up against my shoulder, and walked to our building pushing the stroller with one hand and holding Hazel with the other. Got a passer-by to open the first door to the building for me, then used my keys to get in the rest. Up the elevator, down the hall, in the apartment. Put both girls in bed, but both woke up and spent a fussy, grumpy afternoon waiting for Ed to come home. Ed came home at 5:30pm and we had a quick dinner, Father's Day presents and family walk before bed time. After the girls went down Ed worked from home on the computer until after 12am, which is when I went to bed.

Monday, June 18
We got up with the girls around 7 and Ed left around 8. I called some mom friends and we met at a park to let the kids play together in the sprinklers and playgrounds. Then we had them back to our place for more playing and lunch. They left and the girls took naps around 2-4. Wake time to dinner is the same most days - Hazel plays and watches some cartoons; I wash dishes, clean rooms, make dinner, do whatever I can that Ginger will allow, which usually isn't much; Ginger hangs out in swing, exersaucer, Bumbo, bouncey seat, bed, wherever she'll let me put her so I can do something... but only for short periods. Mostly she likes to be held, played with, talked to and of course fed during this time. I try to strike a balance. Dinner was...I can't even remember. After dinner I gave both girls baths, then put them down one at a time. Sometimes Ginger goes down before Hazel, sometimes after. Tonight it was before - swaddled her and rocked her a little, then put her in bed and read my book nearby for a few minutes until she was out. Hazel was watching Little Bear. Then Hazel's bedtime routine: brush teeth, jammies & diaper, stories, songs, prayer, kiss, bed. I spent the evening going up and down to the basement doing 5 loads of laundry and watching Mansfield Park from Netflix (only so-so) while I folded it. I went to bed around 12:30am, but only after emailing my friend Maureen from church. She's been offering for months for her and her husband Thomas to come babysit for us so we can have a date (they are newlyweds.) After the couple of tough weeks we've had, I decided to cash in on all such offers, starting with her. We set it up for a Saturday in July. Ed got home around 3:45am.

Tuesday, June 19
We got up around 7 and Ed left around 8:30. We got our act together (breakfast, diapers, clothes, diaper bag put together, shower, more diaper changes, etc.) and met Corey & Violet at the park for the morning. Hazel and Violet played in the sprinkler and playground and each had no less than two nasty, scrapey falls. Something about bare knees (or perhaps water shoes they're not used to walking and running in) just invites nasty falls. It was a beautiful day, though, the park being right by the bay, so there was a nice breeze, and Ginger was so happy watching the kids. Lunch was PBJ sandwiches, then naps for both girls and I even got a short one! They got up around 3:30 and for an hour and a half I worked towards getting us out the door for some errands in the neighborhood. I had to call Ed to find out which pants and shirts he wanted taken to the cleaners, then round them up. Feed and burp Ginger, change both diapers. Get Hazel a snack so she's occupied and not constantly underfoot. Repack diaper bag with fresh diapers, water, snacks. Round up library books and shopping list. Check and change diapers again, plus change Ginger's outfit and rinse the old one because we broke containment. Around 5pm we FINALLY got out the door with the double stroller loaded with two girls, diaper bag, 3 pants & 6 shirts for the cleaners, and 7 library books to return. We walked to the cleaners, then the library, also checking out 3 new ones I had on the reserve shelf (our branch SUCKS but I can request books from the main one to be sent there.) Then to the grocery store, careful to only get what I can pack in the stroller (about $30 worth - yogurt, bread, oj, chicken, lettuce, pineapple, etc.) I noticed Ginger had fallen asleep at this point. Finally Rite Aid to get more band aids, wipes, vitamins. After all the errands were done I let Hazel out of the stroller to walk home, and within a block she took yet another nasty fall, creating two new bloody scrapes on palms and knees. So we sat on a stoop and I cleaned her up with wipes and new band aids, making a mental note to start keeping band aids in the diaper bag regularly. Made sure to walk, not run, the rest of the way home. Dinner was rotisserie chicken from the store, couscous, fruit smoothies. Dinner was later than usual tonight so we just moved right into bedtime from there. Girls were both down by 8:30. I spent the next 2 hours balancing all the bank accounts and paying bills, then watched Good Eats with a bowl of ice cream, and went to bed at 11:45pm. Ed came home around 2am.

Wednesday, June 20
We all got up around 7:30. Ed left around 8:30. I got the girls breakfast, diapers, dressed, etc. Took a quick shower. We were going to walk to the library, about 30 minutes walk, for story time at 10:30, but it was raining and I haven't gotten around to getting a rain cover for the double stroller. So we drove and were amazingly lucky enough to park on the same block. Saw some of our friends there - Violet, Kaleigh, Pierson. Chloe the librarian is only slightly less of a wet blanket than all the other librarians at the other branches, which is why we go to her story time - it's all relative in the Brooklyn Public Library system. During the first book - about a farm, which Hazel should have loved - Hazel became fixated on a rug circle Violet was sitting on, and threw a fit because there wasn't one for her. So I took her out and we missed that book. She survived the rest of the story time, but just barely - still emotional. Did better when we stood up and did action songs. We stayed and played in the children's room after story time, then drove home and had lunch - PBJ and grapes for Hazel, salad & pineapple for me. Ginger slept a mere 15 minutes all morning, so went down for a good nap in the afternoon, same as Hazel. I read my (library) book. The afternoon went about the same as Monday. More bearable, though, because it wasn't so hot and humid today. I've been working my way through the dishes all week, never quite getting ahead though. After dinner I put Ginger on the bed and tried to clean in the bedroom for a little while. Lots of clutter hot spots in there that never really get taken care of. Also called my mother-in-law to hear about her recent Europe trip and let her talk to Hazel. Ginger napped from 7-8, then hung out with us for Hazel's bedtime routine, which also included - special tonight! - standing her in the bathtub for a quick bangs trim. We also read her new library books. I spent the evening at first watching tv, then catching up on email and blogs. Caught dishy Matt Damon on Letterman. Ed emailed at 12:30am to see if I was still up, which, lamo, I was, so I called him. Caught up on each other's days since he still had several hours of work to do. I went to bed at 1 am. Ed rolled in at a cool 4am.

Thursday, June 21
I got up with the girls at 7:30. Ed slept an hour longer and got up at 8:30. We had blueberry pancakes for breakfast. Every year in June Ed's group at work has a retreat/roast/send-off for the exiting analysts, like a year-end party. For some reason it's in Miami and you have to fly there on your own dime. Whatever. So Ed had an 11:30 flight to Miami, which meant he had to leave by 10 at the latest. I also had to leave by 10 for a playgroup - every week a group of moms from church meet at a different park for a morning playgroup. Since I organize it, pick the park, and send out the email, it's a good idea for me to be there. So the morning was hectic, trying to get us all ready and out the door. Playgroup was fun - it was a sunny day with unseasonably low humidity, and some of Hazel's favorite friends were there - Bruce and Pierson. All the parks here have nice water features, so we usually split our time between water and playground, which means packing an extra bag with swimsuit, water shoes, buckets, towel, etc. in addition to the usual snacks, water, sunscreen, hats, changing pad, wipes, etc. Hazel fell asleep on the way home and stayed asleep when I transferred her to the crib, so it was an early nap for her, about 12:30-2:30. Ginger overlapped slightly with that, so I got a quiet lunch reading a magazine. The afternoon is a blur because lack of sleep was catching up with me. We played some games, read some books, I attempted some dishes, and gave Hazel a long bubble bath, with Ginger watching from the Bumbo and I flipped through magazines on the bathroom floor. Dinner was grilled cheese sandwiches and mandarin oranges. I thought about ordering out but nothing sounded good so I figured might as well just make something. Save the take-out opportunities for something yummy. After dinner I gave Ginger a bath and put on a show for Hazel. Then fed Ginger, did Hazel's bedtime routine and put her down, put Ginger down. Watched an hour of TV and decided to get to bed early, about 10:30pm. The window air conditioner in our room was flashing an error signal E1, which means it needs to be reset, which I thought I knew how to do, but 10 minutes later it shut off and flashed E1 again. So I spent an hour and a half troubleshooting the a/c unit, having to wait 10 minutes after each thing I did to see if it would stay on or shut off. Finally figured it out. Lights out at 12:15am.

Friday, June 22
I got up with Ginger at 6, fed her and put her back down by 7. Hazel woke up at 7:30 so I got up with her, got her breakfast, etc. Ginger woke up at 8:30 and we all started our day. I had some errands to do at "the mall", things I've been putting off because I'm afraid of such a monumental outing with both girls. We have one mall about 20 minutes away, with a pay-parking lot (at least there are always spaces!), so it's kind of a production. The girls did ok at the first 2 stores, then Ginger got fed up so I held/carried her while pushing the double stroller with Hazel in it, who was also losing it but being a trooper. I bought her a cookie on the way out - oatmeal raisin so melted chocolate wouldn't get all over. We got home and I started to make Hazel lunch when Ed walked in the door and my jaw dropped. He had planned to fly back from Miami and go straight to the office, but changed his mind and came home. He'd had a nice time with his group, but a lot of airport hassles, including dropping and busting his BlackBerry in security, and delays which kept him from getting much-needed sleep. So he had lunch with us and went down for a nap same time as the girls. We spent an unprecedented Friday evening together as a family. Loaded into the stroller, got deli sandwiches for dinner and ate them at a park. Then we walked to another park where we know the ice cream truck regularly stops, and played until it came. Hazel knows the look and music of the "ha-mee tutt" but we've never bought from him, so she was more than thrilled to get her own chocolate cone, and Ed was just as thrilled to buy it for her. We came home and put the girls to bed by 9, then Ed had to log in remotely to work. I went to bed at 10 and Ed worked until 12:30am, sadly his earliest night all week.

It was interesting to do the math:
Ed worked or travelled for about 100 hours (60% of a week)
Ed slept for about 43 hours (25 % of a week; average 5.7 hrs/night)
Ed was awake at home for about 25 hours (15% of a week; average 3.6 hrs/day)

I think a percentage ratio for most normal working people would be more like work and travel 30% (50 hrs)/ sleep 30% (50 hrs)/ home or recreation 40% (68 hrs)

There.

Whew.

Going Places: Parking Diaries II

So last weekend I got a parking ticket and sticker of shame, and this week I almost forgot to move the car to the alternate side...twice, so I figured it must be time to write some more about parking. This time we're talking about parking when we go places in New York, but let me just make one more comment about parking at home. I just got back from moving the car for sweeping tomorrow. And in doing so I left Hazel in front of Blue's Clues and Ginger in the baby swing. I walked out, locked the door, left the building, crossed the street, drove the car to a spot two blocks away, and walked home. Every single time I do something like that - leave the girls alone - either to park or switch laundry or get the mail - I feel slightly sick and envision all manner of horrible things happening, from a cut to a fire, and social services taking them away from me. Then I envision putting shoes & jackets on, taking them outside, buckling them both in car seats, driving two blocks, then walking them home (and inevitably receiving a tantrum from Hazel because she doesn't want to go back in) and I swallow hard and consider it worth the risk. It's just quicker and easier. I do try to do it when they're both sleeping, but sometimes I forget (or sometimes they don't sleep at the same time all day). Ok, enough from the guilty conscience.

I learned early on that when I'm going to drive somewhere in New York City, the biggest concern is parking (and traffic, but that's a topic for another day.) If possible, I call ahead and ask how the parking is in the area, and, if relevant, the street sweeping days & hours. Sometimes there is a parking lot or garage nearby. Sometimes there is meter parking. And sometimes there's just no parking, so I don't go. Once I called a store and they said street parking was crowded but they had an arrangement with a diner down the block that their shoppers could park there. Never would have known if I hadn't called. But for the most part parking takes time and money, and may be several blocks or more from my destination, so that also means ALWAYS take the stroller.

My ticket last week was an interesting one. I went to the grocery store at 8am on Saturday. This store has a small parking lot so I drove there, but over half of the spaces were blocked by big trucks making their deliveries in the back, and the other spots were filled. I noticed the meter spots on the street were mostly open; I attributed this to the early hour, and parked in one, sure to deposit my quarters. When I came out 45 minutes later I found a ticket on the windshield and sticker on the window. I was annoyed at getting a ticket undeservedly, and at the hassle I'd have to go through to contest it. Then I looked up at the parking signs and discovered that street sweeping on that main street is 8-8:30 every day except Sunday. After almost 2 years I should have looked at the signs - you always have to look at the signs. But I'd gotten lazy - I always park in the lot there, so I didn't know the rules on that street. And I'd never seen a daily 8-8:30 sweeping sign - they're usually once a week. There went $45 I could have used for laundry.

In my early days here, I had several experiences of driving to a place, circling for parking, becoming overwhelmed at the one-way streets, parking signs, and traffic, and just turning around to come back home. But I've gotten smarter as I've learned the patterns. For the most part, I know the alternate side parking for the streets around the pediatrician office, dentist, library and most of the parks we like that are too far to walk, and make my appointments and plans accordingly. Meter spots are always best because they're usually closer to where you're going, but always in demand. But I also learned the hard way that some meters are 2 hours, and some are only 1. Garages are always very convenient, too, but quite pricey. The few times I've driven into Manhattan, I've always parked in a lot or garage. Street parking is not worth the enormous investment of time spent looking for a spot you'll probably never find. For a couple of hours we've spent anywhere from $12-35, depending on the area, day and time of day. I think the most was $40 for a few hours in the theater district at night. Two hours on a Saturday near the temple was about $25. Plus tolls of course...

I could go on but I want to mention Dr. Donald Shoup - UCLA Urban Planning professor and author of The High Cost of Free Parking (call out to D-Pulse!). This guy has made urban parking his academic and professional focus, and in my opinion that's good. Parking could use him. I haven't read his book, but I have read a few articles and watched this film (which I highly recommend), so I have the gist of his ideas, which I'll lay out here:

Street parking either costs too much, or in more cases, too little, especially if it's free. A solution to many urban problems, including air pollution, traffic, pedestrian safety, cleanliness, and of course parking, is to find the "right" cost of curb parking. The right cost would be the lowest price that leaves 15% of spaces vacant at any given time. I assume in NYC this price would be more than 25 cents per half hour (what meters cost in many areas) and less than $10 per half hour (what some garages charge.) Revenue from this parking policy should go straight back into improving the specific locality - fixing up the pedestrian realm so it's a place more people want to be.

Anyone involved in the parking world seems to either be a Shoupista or Anit-Shoupista. I'm not so polarized, but since I already pay out my rear end to park in Manhattan, I'd be happy to pay whatever it takes if it means there are readily available spots. It's hard to imagine 15% of curb parking open in NYC, but I'm all for it, especially if the revenue goes to improving pedestrian conditions (or, say, um, putting elevators in more subway stations so I could actually take a stroller...)

Anyway, the point is that parking is a mess. What it means for me is that I go out less, buy less gas (usually one tank per month), walk more and shop online more. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but has taken serious getting used to for a suburban girl like me. Of course having two kids further complicates driving outings, whether parking is an issue or not. That's why all the saved gas money went into a v.e.r.y. s.e.r.i.o.u.s. d.o.u.b.l.e. s.t.r.o.l.l.e.r. Now what I need is a new pair of walking shoes!

Question: Watch the 6-minute film interview with Dr. Shoup and tell me - how do you think this would work in your town or city (or place you've been that has a parking problem...)?

I Really Am Disco Mom

DISCO. Many images does this word evoke. There's the music. Dig it. There are the clothes. Polyester. Love it. There's the lifestyle. Sex, drugs, mirror balls, girly hair. And there's the dancing. Work it. Disco was peaking about the time I was born, so it was just passe enough to be a little funny and alternative when I hit the teenage years, and I formed a fondness for it. I even middle-named my daughter Xanadu (before seeing the film, which is TERRIBLE. Luckily that's not the origin of the name so there is some redemption in Samuel Coleridge's poem. But back to disco.)

And of course what one single movie comes to mind when you hear DISCO? What cult classic gives perfect homage to all things DISCO?

A few weeks ago AMC was showing Saturday Night Fever. I'd owned the soundtrack on vinyl years ago, and now own it on cd, but I'd never seen the whole film all the way through. So I sat down to at least watch the beginning. I knew it was about a Brooklynite, and I'd heard the first scene, where Tony is walking down the street with a can of paint, was filmed on 86th Street in Bensonhurst, which is where our church is. So I thought it would be fun to see that part, and sure enough it was Bensonhurst and not much has changed in 30 years. He stops to buy a double decker slice of pizza and I said to Ed, "That pizza place could be in our neighborhood. There's a million like that around here." We watched on, to the part where Tony goes home after work. He's shown walking down the sidewalk to his family's house, and again, I said to Ed, "That house could be in Bay Ridge (our neighborhood.) That looks just like the houses in Bay Ridge." We watched about the first half hour and decided to stop wasting our time when things got pretty raunchy that first night at the dance club. But the Italian family dinner scene was a real treat, a perfect example of how people, as well as places, don't change much around here. I kept it to myself that time, but I could have told Ed that family could be in our neighborhood.

A few days later the girls decided to desynchronize their naps, so I was entertaining Ginger while Hazel napped in the afternoon, and I flipped on the TV. AMC was showing it again, and as luck would have it there was about 25 minutes left, including the big dance competition. So I missed the middle, but caught the end, and it surprised me. Tony & partner of course won the dance competition but he became disgusted with the results and gave the prize to the couple he thought was better. Then he and his friends who were all doped up went and played on the Verrazano Bridge, which is mere blocks from my house and featured in our 2006 Christmas card pictures. That really caught my attention. One of his friends falls off and dies - unexpected dramatic turn - and they are shown with police on a path under the bridge that we go walking on some Sunday afternoons. Tony spends a soul-searching night riding the subway and determines to get out of the vicious cycle his life has become.

After seeing the bridge at the end of the movie, I thought, wow, I'm really living where it happened. (I say "happened" as if it's real, you know what I mean.) And guess what - I really am. Movie-locations indicates that most of the movie was filmed right here in Bay Ridge, including Tony's house, about 15 blocks from where I live. I had no idea I was right in the middle of it, albeit 30 years later. "Disco Mom" was a fun super-hero kind of title I chose for myself, but now I feel like I can really claim it, and I do.

I am Disco Mom.

(And speaking of Brooklyn movies, see my very favorite.)

A Quarter of Irony

An ongoing theme you may find here on my blog is what a hassle life in New York City is. Take laundry for example. Most urbanites have three options: 1) send it out if you can justify or afford it, 2) schlep it to the laundromat, or 3) if you are lucky enough to have a laundry room in your building, do it yourself down there. That's what I do. There are three machines and two dryers (don't ask me why, I ask myself every time I'm down there.) And each one takes $1.50 per load, in quarters only. With a growing family we have 4-6 loads per week so that comes out to $50-60 per month. In quarters only.

Quarters play a big part in my life here, being the currency of both laundry and parking. Parking in NYC is, you guessed it, a hassle. That is definitely a topic for another essay, perhaps a series. But between laundry and parking I find myself always desperate for quarters, hoarding them, saving them in a special pocket of my wallet separate from the other change. Rolls seem to disappear into thin air. And listen, obtaining a roll is no small feat. It involves loading the kids into the double stroller and heading out to a bank, waiting in line, sometimes two. Then inevitably the teller is put out at how many rolls I need and has to get the manager to come open a safe or vault or something so they can get more. Then one or both kids start fussing, needs a snack, dropped a toy, etc. Once I tried getting quarters at the customer service desk at the grocery store but it wasn't much easier, and it definitely took longer.

And don't even think for a second that it's an option to throw the kids in the car and just breeze through a bank drive-thru. This is NYC. Don't even think banks have parking lots, much less drive-thru's. No, any errands, from the post office to the library to the bank, are done on foot (or on public transportation but double strollers are not so welcome on buses.) See future article on parking. I just seem to always be in need of quarters, and never have enough to do laundry when I need to. One of the best gifts I received at the time of Ginger's birth was my Dad showing up with a huge pile of quarter rolls. Got me through a month without having to go to the bank.

So when our tax refund arrived I decided to finally get smart and take control of the quarter situation that plagues my life. I went to the bank and got $200 in quarters - that's 20 rolls. I was so happy and proud to have saved myself all the work and hassle of being constantly short on quarters. Now I could go months on that supply!

Then just last week there was a sign on the elevator door, informing tenants that the laundry room has installed a new "Smart Card" system - you use a refillable card, like a credit card, with the machines instead of quarters. No problem, I thought, I'll just put all my quarters in the machine that puts money on the Smart Card. But you guessed it, didn't you? I went down to check out the card machine and it only takes: bills.

So I'll be going back to the bank after all...